Everybody has their own struggle, so be kind.

At times I feel used [Fallin', Alicia Keys]

Since the Langkawi trip, my body feels so weak. So does my spirit. 

I just don't know whether this is right or wrong. 

Most of the times when I am about to sleep, there are always people coming in and talking and talking without really considering me.  

Every time I am about to explode, I just resort in being silent.  

People keep pushing me and ordering me around without really considering my state of mind and it is really patience-testing to be honest with.  

I am trying my best to be super alert with the emails and text messages so that they can do their work, yet, I myself haven't done a single thing for my work. 

Yes, I am not a good driver, so please, understand my fears and insecurities. 

Most of the shops are closed, however, there are a lot of empty stomachs need to be filled.  

The heat is killing me. If this continues, I doubt whether I can be as patient as I used to. 

Just because I don't say anything, it doesn't mean I am not angry.  

If you don't like people doing or saying things like that to you, please don't do it to me either. 

Ya Rabb, please oh please, give me strength to be patient. Please, ya Rabb, please.

: 27th October 2012.

: 03.00 p.m.

: Malaysia.

: People can disappoint us, but not God.

How can I have answers, when you drive me in questions?

I can't breathe easy [Breathe Easy, Blue]

If only I know what's best for me, for you, and for everyone, 

I wouldn't be like this.

It is not easy.

Prayers are needed. 

Up until now I still think that this is a drama,
but the truth is, it is not.

Can you figure it out for me, dear?

: 24th October 2012.

: 09.40 p.m.

: Malaysia.

: I am such a strange human being. Until now I just can't figure out that thing.

Eagle warriors, we are.

Shine bright like a diamond

So many things happened this month. Oh gosh, look! This post is the first post for this month. Oh, how busy I was, am and will this month. There were two educational trips this month. And another one will come soon. Sigh. Honestly, it was tiring. I just didn't have enough time for myself. All I did was to please that person, this person, those people and...everyone. Have I ever told you that I just got back from the second trip, which is the trip to Langkawi today morning? Yes, today. At approximately 1.00 a.m. Yes. Thank goodness there was no class today. Alhamdulillah. At least I could rest, for a while. Have I ever told you that I played for badminton last few weeks? Or was it last week? Oh, sorry, I lost track of time. Have I ever told you that I rushed here and there just because my mom said that she's gonna come the day after she told me on the phone? Oh, that one. That was so absurdly sudden, yet, her presence and my brother's playful smiles were the ones that calmed me down during those dark, difficult, tiring days. Have I ever told you that I was so hungry during the grand dinner? Oh, my stomach was grumbling throughout the whole event. Thank goodness there were a lot of eye candies, ehem, I mean the video and erm, the gifts. A ha ha haa *awkward laugh*. Oh, have I ever told you that until now I haven't bought the car sticker from the office? Ahha, now only you know how busy I was. 

Oh, by the way, I didn't write this for throwing out my dissatisfaction over the busiest month ever (so far, I think more busier months are awaiting). I just wrote this to remind me the unwritten, hectic time I ever had until I didn't have time to finish my drama series. Oh yeah, it has been quite some time since I last see Changmin. Someone mentioned me by the name Miss Changmin and oh, the memories flooded in. I hope he is doing fine. He must be as busy as I am, ahhaha. Delusional me. 

The trips that we had this month were so unwelcoming but the memories during those two (please read, the sweet memories, not the bitter ones okay) were the ones that I will treasure till the end of my life, God willing. I could be so annoying at times, ignorant too, and even weird during the trips, but dear friends, do know that I was grateful for having you guys. We fought, we bickered and we hurt each other, but you guys were the ones who made everything a success. Sorry, and thank you. I am so gonna miss you guys, especially when we are about to be posted to every corner of this abundantly blessed Malaysia.

P/S: Subhanallah, Langkawi is such a beautiful island. 

Take me there some other time, okay? Ehhe.

: 24th October 2012.

: 03.00 p.m.

: Malaysia.

: Nothing feels better than my own bed.