No matter how bad something or someone is, have faith.

Cos my love is all I have to give

"If you want to strengthen your faith, you will need to soften inside. For your faith to be rock solid, your heart needs to be as soft as a feather. Through an illness, accident, loss or fright, one way or another, we are all faced with incidents that teach us how to become less selfish and judgmental and more compassionate and generous. Yet some of us learn the lesson and manage to become milder, while some others end up becoming even harsher than before."

 -- Shams Tabrizi

.........................

: 30th September 2014.

: 8.40 p.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: Today, I went for a course on professionalism and filing system.

As I reached home, my housemate said I have to go for another course tomorrow.

She told me that I was 'fired' from being the secretary of LDP

and instead I have another post now. Ahhaha. Fired. Isn't it funny?

Okay, that explains the course that I have to attend tomorrow. Oh well, I'm learning.

What does being cute has to do with me?

Chandelier

A teacher said this to me,

"Dear, you are so cute. You must have someone right?

So when can I eat your nasi minyak?"

My response,

"Errrr e he he he he."

That's why I don't know how to respond to the cute comment.

In fact, I am far from cute.

And no, I don't have that someone....

yet.

.............

The feeling of having a nap after six periods of teaching. Oh man, it was soooooooo refreshing. Well, minus the heat, the nap was marvellous. Beyond marvellous. 

: 29th September 2014.

: 11.32 p.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: I just uploaded a few photos in my alter ego facebook account.

In other words, my teacher account. Restricted to students only ahhaha.

Maintain your cool, man.

Don't say you love me, you don't even know me

This is me when my students asked stupid questions 

or talked back when I asked them to do something.

.........................

"If you can't explain it to a six-year-old,

you don't understand it yourself."

[Albert Einstein]

.........................

Everyone talks about leaving the planet a better place for our kids.

We should also leave better kids for our planet.

: 28th September 2014.

: 9.03 p.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: One of our beloved lecturers came to our humble place today.

Of subpoena and movie quotes.

The green back boogie

Hurm, it's not easy to be mentally strong.

Oh well, not easy means we can learn it bit by bit, can't we?

..........................

Make a person fall in love with themselves and they’ll fall in love with you.

: 27th September 2014.

: 11.00 p.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: Today, the naughty students whom another teacher had a dislike at,

indirectly taught me a few interesting things in life.

They made me google at protein intake and eye infection.

I know. Random.

Move along, move along.

When your hope is gone, move along move along

"You cannot convince people to love you. This is an absolute rule. No one will ever give you love because you want him or her to give it to you."

Don't look at me like that, Mr Specter.

......................

Be picky with who you invest your time in. 

Wasted time is worse than wasted money.

.....................

"Indeed, my Lord is the Hearer of supplication."

[14:39]

: 26th September 2014.

: 10.10 a.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: Approaching the end of Season 2 now. Oh man, this is too soon.

Maybe I should stop and distract myself with another drama?

Ohh, guys in suits.

Welcome to the Hotel California

You might be wondering what am I up to, seeing me not on Facebook and not on Twitter or any other social network like always. Oh yeah, I've been wondering myself too. What am I doing? What is the thing that make me sooooo preoccupied offline? 

Let me tell you what is the thing, or rather who is that person.

Introducing you.....tadaaaaaa....

Oh, guys in suits. Hotness. Harvey Specter? Oh, even the word hotness can't describe him. 

Thanks to one of my secondary school friends. She is the one who got me into him. Cheeky girl. You knew my taste sooo well. Ahhaha. I think we both have the same taste in men. Urmm but not all. Some, maybe. Hehehe.

...................

I can't wait for the upcoming school holidays which will due in less than two weeks now. 

Yehuuuu yabedabeduuuuuu.

: 22nd September 2014.

: 10.50 p.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: How can a middle age man look soooo dashing? Life begins at forty, huh?

I've always wanted to go to Neverland.

Let me take you there

Finding Neverland [2004]

....................

One of my favourite childhood stories is Peter Pan. I love to read the book (you know the thin book for kids) and I used to dream of being a kid forever. I even talked about J.M Barrie's Peter Pan for my five-minutes talk when I was in Form 3. I still remember how I looked forward to its movie. Ironically, until now, I haven't seen the movie. You know, the year 2003 movie of Peter Pan? Yeah, that one. Does anybody have it? 

Oh, I still remember the movie's tagline:

"Imagine a world like nothing you've ever seen."

Someone, take me to Neverland please. I don't want to grow up and stuck in adults' world; too many dilemma, conflicts and prejudice. Urghhh, it is too tiring to be honest with. Why are adults like this? Why so serious? Can't they be more relaxed, tolerant and giving? Where does the child in them go? No child is born racist. Oh, what is happening to humanity nowadays?

Cakap macam kecik lagi tuh, padahal dah suku abad sudah.  

..................

: 11th September 2014.

: 10.40 p.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: I am alone in this house because I have an English camp with SPM students tomorrow.

I hope SPM won't be like UPSR this year. A mess I tell you, it's a big mess.

"I've never wanted more, until I met you."

“Appearance can be deceptive,'' he says quietly. "I'm anything but fine. I feel like the sun has set and not risen for five days, Ana. I'm in perpetual night here.” 

................

Hey, handsome.

................

Today was the first day, as the secretary of LDP, I opened the website and filled in the courses that the school had conducted since the beginning of the year. I have more to fill in later. 

And more to do. You name it.

PBS files, PPGB file, students' warning letters, MC text, lesson planning 

and ohhh, decorate the PPDa room!

What an interesting life as a novice teacher.

Care to join me?

Better not.

: 9th September 2014.

: 08.54 p.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: It was rather odd for me to keep thinking that today is Wednesday.

I guess I can't wait to go home on Friday, that's why.

My definition of hot guys?

Baby now and forever, until the time is through

This is random I know but I am getting bored marking my students' exam papers. So, to keep me refreshed and energised (feeling giddy giddy ahhaha over betul), here...let me tell you my definition of hot guys (though in real life I won't be able to have one for myself, wuwuuuwuu life is cruel).

My definition of hot guys:

1) Guys who exercise and keep their (hot) body fit.

Please take me with you for jogging!

2) Guys in suits. *swooooon* 

Don't you dare look at me with that piercing hot gaze in that hot suits. And drop that phone!

3) Guys who take a good care of their kids and pet.

A loving, responsible man is a real man. 

Awww, please take me too! But can you leave the dog somewhere else? *puppy eyes

and....last but not least...

4) Guys who pray and never once forget to do so.

:)

.....................

A girl can dream, right?

;)

: 6th September 2014.

: 03.50 p.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: Hihihi. Now I can continue marking! :p

Curiosity kills the cat, they said.

...................

I think all of us are a walking mass of contradictions.

Especially women.

Hey, me too can't understand myself.

What more to understand them.

: 5th September 2014.

: 02.43 p.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: I've just finished reading a book that sparks curiosity in me.

And I am about to reading the second book of the same title.

Oh yeah, trilogy.

I miss you 200%? No, I miss us 300%.

Oh Tuhan, jaga dia untukku

..................

Someone once asked me, "How can we laugh when we are unhappy?"

I still remember how I just smiled and said, "We deserve to laugh, even in dark days."

..................

One of my friends is crazy about a Malay drama series which currently aired on TV. She made me want to watch it too, out of curiosity. 

And oh, Zill Faezrul is wayyy too good to be true. No, no, no. There is no guy like that in real life. Drama nih semua dramaaaaa! *tak puas hati*

: 3rd September 2014.

: 3.05 p.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: How can arranged marriage in drama look soooo sweet and happy?

Keep calm and show 'em who's the boss.

Written on these walls are the colours that I can't change

Leave my heart open but it stays right here in its cage

I know that in the morning now I see us in the light upon a hill

Although I am broken, my heart is untamed, still

...................

Today, I had an English lesson; two periods with one of my Form 4 classes. I have been planning the lesson since last night as I wanted to finish my ULBS with the students. ULBS is a speaking assessment that a student must go through a few times in a year. I planned to get them think about healthy skin and ways to achieve it as the set induction. As they already familiar with the topic, I thought that after that I can give them a text about skin and while they are reading, I can call a few students to my desk to do the ULBS. See, at least other students will have something to focus on while I do my ULBS. Therefore, I was more than confident that I would be able to finish the ULBS by today. However, there are times in life when things will not go as what we have planned. And yeah, one of the times in my life was today. I repeat, today.

In between the set induction and the next stage of my lesson, I decided to walk around the class and ask their understanding of the topic while passing out the text to each student. As I asked around, I noticed that one female student looked so pale and dazed out.

As I gave the text to the student next to her, I asked her, "Dear, are you okay? You look pale. Are you sick? Do you want to go to the sick bay?" 

She then just looked at me and said nothing. Literally nothing. Okay. Whatever.

So, I just shrugged my shoulder and moved to another table to give out the text. I then told them to read while I called for a student to come to my desk and do the ULBS with me. Taking out all the sheets and materials needed, I then called a name. The student with a shy smile came and sat. So, I began the ULBS by asking her about how does she feel today, what did she do last night and as I was about to ask her to elaborate on her points, suddenly a student screamed.

"Teacher! Someone fainted!"

OMG. Someone just fainted. That someone was the student whom I just asked about her well-being. She fainted. In my class. Fainted. In. My. Class. During. My. Lessonnnnnnnnnn.

I was so grateful to the Almighty for blessing me with the calm demeanour that I practically able to put on in this type of situation. I was so shocked beyond words in the inside but on the outside, I kept a straight face and asked all the boys to stand back a few metres away from her. After that, I instructed a few girls to help lying her on the combined chairs. I then asked the girls to take off her shoes and socks and told them to fan her. A student tried to sprinkle water on her face while the other one massaged her head and hand. The situation went a bit out of control as more than half of the class tried to get closer to the scene and look at what was happening. I had to shoo them away and forced them to continue reading the text and respect the fainted girl by not stealing the oxygen and the space that she needed at that time. Urgh, I too needed space at that time. Shoo shoo.

I tried to call the teachers who were on duty but I could not reach them. I then tried to call other teachers but man, of all times, my handphone decided to fail me. One of the boys then asked my permission to call the teacher next door and before I could say anything, he shouted for the teacher to come to my class. And, thanks to that, four more teachers came to the rescue.

Two teachers volunteered to send her home and there I was, with all the sweat and mess, went into the class and continued to teach. I had twenty more minutes before the two periods lesson ended, so yeah. Back to the lesson, kids!

What an interesting day, right? Oh, I forgot to add 'tiring'. Yeahhhhhh.

......................

Keep calm and control the class like a boss.

: 2nd September 2014.

: 9.10 p.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: I am in need of a new handphone.

Progress is still progress no matter how small.

Just a smile and the rain is gone

"Introverts, in contrast, may have strong social skills and enjoy parties and business meetings, but after a while wish they were home in their pyjamas. They prefer to devote their social energies to close friends, colleagues, and family. They listen more than they talk, think before they speak, and often feel as if they express themselves better in writing than in conversation. They tend to dislike conflict. Many have a horror of small talk, but enjoy deep discussions."

-Susan Cain

.......................

Three days ago, I dreamt of a beautiful, serene place. The clear blue sky with cute patterns of clouds. I could hear the sound of waves splashing and the birds chirping. It was so peaceful and the sun didn't even burn my skin. I was sitting under the coconut tree with a book in my hand. Oh, what a heavenly feeling. 

I was about to grab the coconut drink besides me when out of the blue, I heard Jason Mraz singing. Ehh, Jason Mraz was there in my dream? Really? And suddenly, a realisation hit me. It was my alarm. When I opened my eyes, my heart sank looking at where I was. I felt so gloomy. The heavenly feeling was gone. Gone with the wind. It was tiring and annoying to feel gloomy and blue, therefore I decided to change the layout of my small, vampire-like room. And here I am, feeling not-so-gloomy even though it is raining and I can hear thunders, instead of bird chirping happily at this very moment.

Let's learn to be grateful. At least my fan is working now. It was disastrous to have a not-functioning-so-well fan especially on a hot, sunny day. Oh, tell me about it.

......................

It was soooo da** tiring today. I had seven periods of teaching and I was sooo exhausted until I can't even have my afternoon nap. That explains why I am watching 'The Pursuit of Happyness' instead. Oh well. 

: 1st September 2014.

: 06.15 p.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: My head is hurting. Oh, so does my heart.