Everyone has their own battles to fight.

Sad Love [ Lee Jung ]

I snapped a photo of an interesting quotation during my School Based Experience (SBE) once upon a time ago in the U.K.

.......................

I am blessed with friends whose spirits are tougher than steel, yet warm at hearts. My doctor friends are sure physically and emotionally tough. Not to mention my lawyer friends. Oh, and my engineer friends too. Oh, and my other friends with their own profession which I can't name them all. And hey, don't you ever forget my educator friends! They are all indeed superheroes. Superheroes in their own way.

Jobless? Hey, jobless friends are equally tough. Being jobless requires as much patience as others with profession; but well, in other sense. Still, it is tough. I understand it perfectly. Why? Because we are in the same boat. 

Dear friends, let's go through this storm of emotions and waves of expectations because we'll definitely reach the land of hope some day. We will, God willing. Have faith.

......................

Despite the dry season (no raiiinnnnnn we need raiiinnnnnnn), my brain is getting rusty. 

I don't know how the water can get into my brain though. 

You know, water + steel = rust. Ahhahha.

Oh well, lame. Just lame. 

: 26th February 2014.

: 11.00 p.m.

: Penang, Malaysia.

: I had a sweet breakfast date with my doctor friend and a soon-to-be Occupational Therapist friend.

Faraway dream, it must be.

Rolling [Jiyeon]

"Time is priceless, but it's free. You can't own it, you can use it. You can spend it, but you can't keep it. Once you've lost it you can never get it back." 

— Audrey Niffenegger (The Time Traveler’s Wife)

.......................

Today, I walked down a memory lane. I visited my tumblr account and looked through all the posts starting from the first post itself. How things have changed and how I have changed throughout the years. The types of pictures, quotations, songs and gifs I reblogged; they have changed from time to time. I started as an 'emo' teenager back then and gradually change into a more grateful human being (though sometimes I need to be reminded to be grateful). I noticed how lucky and carefree I was despite the struggles I had those times. Oh, how ridiculous I was for thinking that those dark days would never leave, because, they did. They left me and better days did come in between. Oh dear self, please learn from this. Please keep telling yourself you can overcome any upcoming dark days; because believe me, you had and you will. 

By the way, I started tumblring on February 2011. It has been three years, right? 

.......................

People say to me, "You've changed."

And I say, "Haven't you? People change, it's just life."

: 24th February 2014.

: 1.30 a.m.

: Penang, Malaysia.

: I received a call from a dear friend of mine last night.

She is one of my dear friends who are strong in their own ways.

I have learnt a lot from her and I have yet to learn more from such strong people.

It feels so lonely without half of my family at home.

The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore [James Morrison]

"And I learned what is obvious to a child. That life is simply a collection of little lives, each lived one day at a time. That each day should be spent finding beauty in flowers and poetry and talking to animals. That a day spent with dreaming and sunsets and refreshing breezes cannot be any better. But most of all, I learned that life is about sitting on benches next to ancient creeks with my hand on her knee and sometimes, on good days, for falling in love."

............................

"One day you will wake up and thank Allah for all your unanswered prayers." 

............................

More great stories await. I should have found these stories sooner. 

They have awaken the reading spirit in me

and I love it.

He he he he.

: 23rd February 2014.

: 9.30 p.m.

: Penang, Malaysia.

: I love to read stories of characters that have complicated thoughts in them.

It feels like reading my own self; but with different names and adventures.

All my cats are sleeping all over the place now.

Dark Paradise [Lana Del Rey]

"People always said that monsters hid in the cloak of darkness and shadows. It was true, but not for the reason people believed it to be true. The only reason monsters lived in the shadows was to protect themselves from the humans who were incapable of believing; only fearing. Their fear confined the monsters to live in the darkness, a place monsters feared as much as humans did." 

...........................

In order to reach our destination, 

sometimes we need to go with the flow, 

but some other times, we need to fight the current.

............................

I did something which made my heart winced in pain.

I know I shouldn't do that in the first place but I did.

Urgh.

: 21st February 2014.

: 05.13 p.m.

: Penang, Malaysia.

: My internet connection is becoming faster (thanks to mom)

but my phone is getting slower (thanks to dear me).

You are my caramel macchiato.

........................

Today is my (amboihh possessive ;p ) mismatched eyes' birthday. Honestly, it has been a while since I last watched anything related to him. I even forgot that his birthday is today, until I suddenly had the strange urge to check one website that I used to visit almost every day a few years ago. It has been more than a year since I last visited the website. Oh, just imagine the memories and the feelsssss ( like one of my dear friends used to say-- the feelsssss) that came through me the moment I looked through the old posts in the website. 

And with such memories and feelssss, I ended up watching almost all videos of him from year 2008. I just can't believe I have been liking this guy for that long. And even though I said to my friends and myself that I have moved on, the truth is; he is always in my heart. Why? Because he is not just my bias, he is also one of the memories that colours my past; my years of growing up.

Happy birthday, my dear Shim Changmin. I might not follow you like before, but please continue smiling and make people around you smile; just like how you used to make me smile in those years. 

..........................

If I had a star for every time you brightened my day,

I’d have a galaxy in my hand.

: 18th February 2014.

: 11.50 p.m.

: Penang, Malaysia.

: Shim Changmin is my first bias. 

Just like how your first love stays in your heart, he stays in my heart.
Amboihhh, ayat nak yang dramatik saja hewhewhew ;p

Of teasers, ff, fandoms and variety shows.

Unforgettable [TVXQ]

If you feel that the distance between You and Allah is growing, 

just remember, He Hasn't moved an Inch!

............................

“Think of hope the minute you feel miserable with your life. Take up the habit of finding joy in the smallest of things in life. Also, hold the hand of the person next to you. Don’t think that you’re the only one living in this world."

[Kim Jaejoong]

.........................

“Suffering is a gift. In it is hidden mercy.”

[Rumi]

: 17th February 2014.

: 11.58 p.m.

: Penang, Malaysia.

: I was feeling a bit nostalgic the moment I woke up today.

I ended up disturbing the two dorky friends that I once shared both crazy and hilarious moments

spazzing on Kpop once upon a time when I was still in the U.K.

I know that growing up means we have to get rid of certain childish and unnecessary things,

but I can't help from reminiscing those moments. Let me visit the old me again, please?

Have you found your soul mate?

Almost paradise [Boys Over Flowers OST]

"You can easily judge the character of a man 
by how he treats those who can do nothing for him." 

.........................

In a hadith in Al-Bukhari’s Book of Manners, 

Abu Darda' reported that Prophet Muhammad said:

"Nothing is weightier on the Scale of Deeds than one's good manners." 

(Al-Bukhari)

........................

I am in fact replaying Boys Over Flowers just to watch this cute pairing (okay, cute for me not for you). My friends often labelled me as a person with weird definition of attractiveness; which I can't deny in some cases, and in this case, apart from loving the main lead in the drama, I fell in love with this pairing. And as strange as it may sound, this is my most favourite pairing in Kdrama world. I have yet to fall in love with other pairings no matter how I love the stories as much as I love this pairing. This has nothing to do with Kim Bum though. I just love these two characters in the drama, no matter how fictional they are. And I guess, I fell in love with the idea that every dark soul will find light through love. Oh well. So much for a hopeless romantic like me.

: 13th February 2014.

: 1.14 p.m.

: Penang, Malaysia.

: This drama reminds me of my dear friends and the memories during my foundation years.

 I still remember how we often sang one of the OST everytime we walked in a whole group into the cafe.

Bajet macam F4 lettew bila masuk cafe ramai-ramai hewhewhew ;p

We are still kids; especially around each other.

Cinta kita di Pantai Merdeka

"Reconnecting with an old friend is probably one of the best feelings ever. It just feels so nice to know that someone you last talked to years ago still remembers who you are and everything. I know it's such a little thing but it means a lot to me. It shows me that although certain things in life are forgotten, friendships aren't."

..........................

I had so much fun these few days with the presence of my friends during my primary school era, here in Penang. Thanks to one of our friends' wedding day because without such thing, we would not be able to get together and reminisce our childhood times. I was the driver for the two-days-getaway trip and the wedding of course (we were almost late to my friend's akad nikah fuhhhh thank God we made it on time) while my other friend, Miss Lawyer-to-be was the host for the weekend. Even though my house is just ten minutes from hers, I decided to tag along and sleepover at her place. Yeahhhh, we got to sleep late and talk about our childhood times, our current lives, our crushes and all (he he he, not to mention heartbreaks too *sigh*). When we were together, no matter how old we are, we acted like we are primary school kids. We felt like kids again. We felt like all those years apart were never there. Here's to never growing up! (tetiba lagu Avril Lavigne pulak dah). Anyway, spending time with them made me discover a lot of things in which I had unconsciously forgotten in the process of growing up. I guess I should write somewhere about all those 'discoveries' or else I might forget it again. My brain needs exercise, oh my.

...........................

The funniest thing is: everybody in my Year 6 class watched the telenovela 'La Usurpadora' at that time and each one of us had our own character based on that telenovela. Hahaha, how cute. 

: 9th February 2014.

: 10.00 p.m.

: Penang, Malaysia.

: I still remember how cool it was for someone to own a walkman at that time.

Now, I don't think people still remember what a walkman is ;p

What does it mean by eternity?

Tiptoe Through The Tulips

To see a World in a Grain of Sand

And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,

Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand 

And Eternity in an hour.

[William Blake, Auguries of Innocence]

...........................

I love poems. But it doesn't mean that I love to spend my hours reading just poems and interpreting it because honestly, I am not brilliant enough to interpret any poems. However, after I read a cute and interesting story online (those dearest to me who share the same hobby will know what kind of stories and where can we read it online ;p ), I found this stanza which the writer used in one of the chapters intriguing. I don't know why but the last two lines from the above stanza fascinate me in an unexplained way. Oh well. 

..............................

"Just as a sick body cannot enjoy fine food,

so too a sinning heart cannot enjoy worshiping Allah."

: 6th February 2014.

: 12.00 p.m.

: Penang, Malaysia.

: My childhood friends during my primary school era are coming over

for one of our dear friends' wedding in Kedah.

It has been years since we last met each other.

I can't help feeling both nervous and excited at the same time.