What love is.

Have I told you lately that I love you [Rod Steward]

What is love? My gorgeous housemate and I always have this conversation of what is love. I guess most of us do. To be honest with you, I do not know what love is supposed to mean. Yeah, really. What is love, romantically speaking? Does it mean you always think about the other person? Or does it mean you are willing to do something for that person? How about actions? Words? Which one comes first? So if people love you, does it mean you have to love that person back? Or the other way around? Does love mean you have to give all your heart and come what may you will do anything for the person you love? Or does honour come first like Rudolf Rassendyll in the Prisoner of Zenda? Oh, love is complicated. 

Even if I am not in a position to fully experience what love is (romantically speaking) since I am not yet married, I have been observing how people around me love each other. And you know what I found? I found that:

1. Love is when you can speak up your thoughts without the fear of being judged.
2. Love is when you accept the other person's strengths and weaknesses alike. 
3. Love is when you do not try to change the other person to be what you have always expected them to be.
4. Love is when you still eat the meal that your beloved prepared though the taste is not up to your liking.
5. Love is when you offer to lend a hand with the house chores even if you are so d*mn tired after work.
6. Love is when you still accompany your beloved to do the things they like even if you hate doing those things (grocery shopping for example?).
7. Love is when you can afford to let your beloved laze around in pajamas during their day off (or maybe join them?).
8. Love is when you can stay next to them when they can never stop talking or crying.  
9. Love is when you let the other person has their own personal time like hanging out with their friends without you tagging along.
10. Love is when you trust the other person that you let them read through your messages.
11. Love is when you never hesitate to share the news (be it good or bad) with your beloved first before anyone else. 
12. Love is when even you disagree with the other person's thoughts or ideas, you do not raise your voice or shout right in their face.
13. Love is when you put your hand-phone down and in silent mode when you both are having your time together. 
14. Love is when you feel the other person is not doing their work, you remind them instead of keeping it inside and later on be angry with them without them knowing why.
15. Love is when you are so angry with the other one, yet you still eat together.
16. Love is when you learn to think positive and make excuses for the other one for turning up late (or forgetting to fetch you on time). 
17. Love is when you think of the other person and mention their name every time someone else (maybe a more attractive person than the one with you) try to flirt with you.
18. Love is when you still wait for the other person even if you are soooo starving or sleepy.
19. Love is when you call the other person to ask when are they coming back or when you just want to see how they are doing at work (or something).
20. Love is when you bring back the food or things they like after you have gone for a trip or an outstation.

And the most important thing is: 

• Love is when you always keep that person in your prayers.  

....................

 "If you cannot swallow your pride,

you are not thirsty enough for her love."

- Pierre Jeanty

: 27th August 2016.

: 11.10 p.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: I heard one of my friends is having problems with love.

I really hope they can overcome that.

Even if I am a pessimist (at times), I do want all people to have their happily ever after.

The second time it happened, I was calm.

[Surah Al-Israa recitatin by Saad al-Ghamidi]

Luqman Hakeem was asked:

"Who taught you manners?"

He replied:

"Those without manners."

.........................

If you notice, regarding schools, I usually talk about students but not teachers. You might think that I have no problem with teachers since I never once wrote about them, but no, I do. 

Teachers are humans you see. I am, therefore I am full of flaws. All other teachers too. If you are in this profession, you will meet so many teachers who become the reason why other people look down on teachers. These teachers neglect their work, enter class late, talk about other things other than the subject they should teach in class, not entering their class, smoke behind the school buildings and yet chase after students who smoke, bully young new teachers and so many other negative attitude I choose not to write. However, amidst all those teachers, there are also teachers who are soooooooo dedicated to their work, cherish their students, willing to sacrifice their time to make sure students achieve good results, do the work given without passing it to other people (young new teachers), exhibit good manners and sooooooo many positive attitude I shall not be able to write here.

I admit there are times when I enter late and talk about other things too in class. However, as I have always been reminded by my dear friends and family that God sees all that I do, I try my best to portray good manners as a teacher and complete all the other work (unrelated to teaching especially like sending students to camps and whatnot) given by school. Unfortunately, problems started to occur as I was given a lot of posts in school. I have so many posts and there were times when I couldn't keep up with all the work. 

I still remember how tiring and devastating it was for me to have three exam classes last year. The first year itself, I was appointed as the secretary and vice secretary for so many departments. Oh man, I didn't even know how to write the minute for the meeting but I tried my best to do so. 

However, despite me being the greenie (new young teacher), other teachers evaluated me as if I had a few years of experience just like them. I still remember the hurt I felt when my Head of Panel told me that one teacher announced to the whole staff room that I didn't enter a Form Five class. I entered the class actually but I was ten minutes late as I was waiting for the photocopy machine. I didn't know that she announced to the whole staff room and entered the class as usual. So, when my Head of Panel told me about that, I felt so hurt as even if I did enter the class, other teachers would believe her as she announced it. And actually, that teacher did pass by my class while I was teaching so she should know that she had just made a mistake of accusing me earlier on. But she didn't apologise. She didn't even tell the other teachers that she was wrong. So tell me, how can I undo what other teachers think of me? Until now, I have this trauma of entering class slightly later, thanks to that teacher. 

That was the first incident. There were a few incidents after that in which I decided not to take heed of what other teachers said. As long as I know I did the best I could, I shall not let their words hurt me again. And, after some time, this kind of thing happened again last week. This time, another teacher told the teachers who are supposed to do the relief thingy that I had never performed my duty as the Koperasi teacher. What the heck? I did go to the Koperasi and monitor the prefects do their jobs and just because that one time I had to excuse myself as I needed to sort out the paperwork with the Principal, she told other teachers that I slacked off. This is soooo funny how people can just simply say about other people. What a smart mouth you have there. I was soooo mad to that unjust accusation I felt like screaming my lung out but instead of doing such thing, I told the teachers about what happened during that one time. I told them maybe she was mistaken and I admitted that I did not do my work perfectly. And just that, the teachers told me not to worry as they have known her for always talk bad about other teachers. So, after that incident, I promised myself that after this, no matter what happens, I will stand there in that Koperasi until my slot ends. Come what may, I will stand there and smile as if I never know about what she had said about me.

So there you go. The stories about me and other teachers. Maybe it's me who have flaws so yeah, with them being so nosy, I have learnt to be a better teacher. Thank you. Without you guys, I won't be able to correct myself. And thank you Allah for teaching me through these people.

.........................

"Fitnah and gossip dies when it hits a wise person's ears.

Be that wise person."

-Dr Anwar Fazal 

: 26th August 2016.

: 7.15 p.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: I am blessed to have such good friends around me.

Thank you for every kind wish and prayer.

I am officially 27 years old (and one day) todayyyyy.

Let us embrace aging beautifully haha.

Amboih, that doctor.

Sing me to sleep now [Alan Walker]

"There are people in the world who love you. 

There are even people out there you haven't met yet who will love you someday."

.........................

Other adults: "I own my own business, I'm happily married and I have my future all planned out."

Me: "I'm eating cereal today."

.........................

This doctor in the drama I am currently watching (because of Lee Jong Suk of course) is sooooooooooo amboiiiii with his mouth. At times I feel like rubbing chillies on his mouth, though at times I want to laugh with what he said. Adoiii.

: 14th August 2016.

: 7.35 p.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan. 

: I miss home badly. 

There he is, making my screen fills with rainbows.

Secret Love Song

"There are two types of beauty. The one that smacks you across the face and is plastered on magazine covers. And then there's type that grows on you. The one you don't expect. The one that poets and authors write about, the eternal kind."

..........................

"I enjoy talking to you. Your mind appeals to me."

[George Orwell]

...........................

Jeli; despite the lack of entertainment (malls and good eating places that is for me) has a lot of positive things to offer. The nature, the animals and errr the nature. However, the downside of being in Jeli is that the phone line and the internet connection are not thaaaaaat good. Seriously, if you have the experience of being on the phone with me, you will know what am I talking about. Okay, I don't want to talk about that in particular err but yeahh, yes the internet connection just sucks. Forgive me for my language.

That explains why I don't really like to follow the newest drama series as it is sooooooo difficult for me to download the episodes here. Remember Descendants of the Sun? Yeahh that famous Korean drama months ago. I haven't got the chance to watch even one episode of it, you see. I had to ask my brother to download it for me. However, I didn't really feel the urge to watch it right there and then at that time since well, Joong Ki is not my ultimate bias or anything. So, until now I don't really have any idea of that drama. Still, I know the OST (thanks to Xiah Junsu ahhaha).

Nonetheless, recently a new drama has just started. Well, I would not give a d**n (forgive me for my language again) about it until....until I got to know that my Lee Jong Suk is the main character of that drama. Why? Seriously whyyyyyyy? Why can't you guys wait until it is school holidays here in Malaysia? Whyyyyyyyyy?

So, I ended up watching the drama in school whenever I'm free using the school wifi. This is not a good example, dear readers. Don't slack off during your work okay? I should put all the blame on Lee Jong Suk. Aishhh, what have you done to me? You and your make-my-screen-fills-with-rainbows smiles. Aishhh.

See this Lee Jong Suk. Aishh I feel like slapping him. Aishh.

: 11th August 2016.

: 9.12 p.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: Two of my students were suspected of bringing illegal things

to the SPM camp last week at one of the schools in Jeli.

As their class teacher, I felt both aggravated and disappointed.

Why? Of all times, why now? Of all things, why that?