Of amplitud, resonance and lambda.

Kini sendiri, di hari hari ku

"Sometimes we get sad about things and we don't like to tell other people that we are sad about them. We like to keep it a secret. Or sometimes, we are sad but we really don't know why we are sad, so we say we aren't sad but we really are." 

(Mark Haddon, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time)

.......................

My eye candy at the moment. The one with yellow tie.

His accent is sooooo sexy. 

Oh, did I tell you about his deep voice too? 

Oh yeah. And that too.

: 24th January 2015.

: 10.10 p.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: I am actually stressed out. Tomorrow is my first Physics class.

I just can't imagine how an English teacher will be able to teach Physics.

What is your anger type?

If you want to keep me, you gotta gotta got to love me harder

Your anger type is

Raw

It may seem like you can’t do much damage, but you can pack a big punch. You’re very powerful. You rarely swing into action, but when you do, look out! You can spin yourself into quite a frenzy. When you’re in a bad mood, it’s easy for you to suck others into your drama. You can be a bit of a black hole that way. At your worst, you leave a serious path of destruction. You pretty much wipe out everything in sight.

.................

Today, I went into the last class of Form 5.
23 boys and 6 girls. 

The boys were not paying attention and were playing at the back.
I went to them and tell them to take out their books.
They took out their books. 

They disturbed the girls across the block.
They laughed.
They shouted the girls' names.
They laughed again.
I took a deep breath.
I then took out the management book.

I wrote each of the students' name.
They stopped laughing.
They quickly pretended to write.
I asked for their books.
They submitted.
I opened their books.
Unfinished work.
I then took a deep breath. 

I looked at their faces.
I smiled and the next second, I stopped smiling.
I picked one book.
I showed them; "This is not finished." 

I threw the books on the table.
I threw more books.
I threw more and more books.
The students were quiet.
I told them; "Finish this or stay here until you finish it."
"But, teacher. Five more minutes to going home."
I looked straight into the students' eyes.
"I. DON'T. CARE." 

And so, they quickly completed their work.
Happy ever after.

: 22nd January 2015.

: 10.30 p.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: Patience has its limit.

Episode 1: Tapeworm.

Of all days, today I have a sudden urge to watch this.

House MD: Episode 1 (Pilot)

Tapeworm. What and why?

Eating undercooked meat from infected animals is the main cause of tapeworm infection in people. Although tapeworms in humans usually cause few symptoms and are easily treated, they can sometimes cause serious, life-threatening problems. That's why it's important to recognize the symptoms and know how to protect yourself and your family.

Tapeworm Causes

Six types of tapeworms are known to infect people. They are usually identified by the animals they come from -- for example Taenia saginata from beef, Taenia solium from pork, and Diphyllobothrium latum from fish.

Preventing Tapeworms in Humans

You can further reduce your risk of tapeworms by washing your hands before and after using the toilet and by following these food safety tips.

1. Avoid raw fish and meat.
2. Thoroughly cook meat to temperatures of at least 145 degrees Fahrenheit for whole cuts of meat and to at least 160 degrees F for ground meat. Then let it rest for at least 3 minutes before carving or eating.  Safe temperatures for poultry are different. 
3. Freeze meat to -4 degrees F for at least 24 hours to kill tapeworm eggs.
4. When traveling in undeveloped countries, cook fruits and vegetables with boiled or chemically-treated water before eating.
5. Wash hands with soap and hot water before preparing or eating foods.

..........................

Watching House MD while having breakfast is not a good choice.

: 17th January 2015.

: 11.27 a.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: Since young, I always admire how doctors brace themselves

through all the blood, diseases and (their) lack of sleep

to treat and cure people.

Spring cleaning wehuuu.

I still get jealous [Nick Jonas]

Who said the ending of The Hobbit will be a happy one? Thorin died okay. 

*weep*

.....................

"Farewell, Master Burglar. Go back to your books, your fireplace. Plant your trees, watch them grow. If more of us valued home above gold, it would be a merrier world." 

[Thorin Oakenshield, The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies]

.......................

One morning, I was called to the office. 

"Dear, we need your help to teach Physics for our Form 5 students this year. We really hope you can teach them. Okay?" 

Only God knows how burdened I felt at that moment. No matter how I tried to tell them it was a looooong time ago since I last learnt Physics, they said I can do it. So in the end, I could only smile and told them I will try my best to do so.

The next morning, I was called by the Chief Clerk at the office. 

"Dear, my daughter asked me to ask you this; did you go for your honeymoon last holiday? Did you get married without telling us?" 

Only God knows how shocked I was at that moment. I literally laughed and laughed and laughed until she asked me again. And of course, I said no. It doesn't make any sense at all. I haven't got anyone at the moment and what more to go for a honeymoon. Ahhahahha. This will be the funniest thing I have heard in my entire life.

: 16th January 2015.

: 5.15 p.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: Since when I got married? Ahahahhaha.

He is Ar-Rahman

Nouman Ali Khan (Lessons from Surah Ar-Rahman)

..................

Allah is Ar-Rahman;

The Most Delicate to me,

no matter how rough my day is.

: 12th January 2014.

: 9.45 p.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: These days, everytime I recite the Quran,

when I look at the translation,

it feels like He is talking to me.

One Million Stars Falling from the Sky.

Angin Syurga [Misha Omar]

This dark mystery drama written by Eriko Kitagawa is not the usual fare of romantic love comedy that you might expect from the screen writer who also penned Beautiful Life and Orange Days. 

Katase Ryo (Kimura) is working as a chef at a pricey restaurant and is a womanizer. Women are only accessories and if he tires of them, he gets rid of them in any way possible. When a presumed suicide turns out to be murder, detective Dojima Kanzo (Sanma) crosses paths with Katase. 

A cat and mouse game starts with Katase raising the stakes when Dojima's little sister falls for him and Kanzo is determined to save his sister no matter the consequences.  

As the story continues, a dark past in Kanzo's life also start to rise and open an unimaginable connection between him, his sister, and Katase Ryo.  

This drama is one of Kimura Takuya's best appearance and Ryo is arguably Kimura Takuya’s darkest role to date.

.................

"I don't believe in love. I don't know what love is. But I loved you."

[Katase Ryo, Sora Kara Furu Ichioku no Hoshi]

: 11th January 2015.

: 6.30 p.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: This is the drama series that get me hooked for the past few days.

No matter what ridiculous posts that I get at school,

no matter which naughty students misbehave in my class,

let Takuya Kimura's smiles heal my wound.

Never in anyone's name.

Let me ask you a question. I want you to be honest with me when you answer it. 

Question 1: 

           What do you feel if someone insult or make fun of someone you love? Let say your dear parents. Or maybe your beloved spouse or partner.

Question 2: 

What will you do to him or her who said those nasty things to your beloved?

For Question 1, it is perfectly normal and human if you feel angry or hurt. You might feel like slapping that person or even do the same thing too.  

For Question 2, your answer is what will determine you. I admit, most of us will imagine all sorts of things to do (e.g. slapping that person, throwing eggs or making fun of their beloveds or even strangling that person to death) but imagination is just imagination. Your action is what counts. And your action pays a great deal of consequences later in life.

I am merely human, imperfect human. In career-wise, I am a teacher. A new one in teaching to be exact. Throughout my short period in being a teacher, there are numerous times when I feel like strangling my students to death for their misbehaviour. In my mind, I might have canned them and shred their exam papers to pieces. However, it is just in my head. I admit, I am a bad teacher, I know but I believe most of the teachers have at least imagined to do such things once. The keyword here: imagine.  

But if I were to carry such actions, I am not just proving myself to be one freaking bad and evil teacher, but the people around me will face the consequences for my action. I am a teacher, therefore, all the teachers will be affected. The teaching profession will be tainted and society will start judging teachers and a great amount of hatred and fear will infiltrate the society. And who knows, a father who used to hate teachers will end up killing innocent teachers to pay for my action? 

This is just an example for what is happening lately. 

Muslims are being backlashed for the crimes that people who claimed to do it in the name of Islam did. Seriously, using religion to justify any crime is just pure evil and sin and madness. There is no religion in this world which promotes killing and massacre. No. Not in Islam. Not in Christianity. Not in Buddhism. Not in any religion.  

And killing in the name of God? Never. Never in God's name.

.....................

“Loving the Prophet (salla Allah alayhi wa sallam) is a necessary requirement of Iman. Defending his honor is a sign of belief. This is done by following his teachings and practice, not by murdering in his name. 

Our Prophet was verbally abused and physically harassed multiple times in Makkah. Never ONCE did any of the Companions go and murder those who did such deeds. 

Do those who kill others in the name of the Prophet believe that they love him more than the companions? 

And even for those who believe that the penalty for blasphemy should be death: by unanimous consensus of ALL the scholars of Islam, this must take place after a legitimate trial, by a qualified judge, appointed by a legitimate Islamic state. Under NO circumstances does Islam allow vigilante justice, for to open this door leads to chaos, confusion and bloodshed. 

Muslims: get your act together!! Such acts of terror are not only haram and spill innocent blood, they will come back to harm you and your communities in the short and long run. 

And as a result, all of us will suffer.”

[Dr Yasir Qadhi]

: 9th January 2014.

: 9.00 a.m.

: Penang, Malaysia.

: What is happening to the world?

What is happening to humanity?

Goodbye Atod.

I love you, you love me, we are happy family

This is what Atod looked like.

....................

"What greater gift than the love of a cat."

[Charles Dicken]

: 7th January 2015.

: 10.11 a.m.

: Penang, Malaysia.

: I woke up this morning, trying to find Atod.

I thought she was up to something outside of the house.

It turned out she was lying dead in a pool of blood at the corner of the road.

My heart broke into pieces.

What about my love life?

Cintamu ini sudah meracuniku

....................

I am no princess.

I am merely human.

: 7th January 2014.

: 12.45 a.m.

: Penang, Malaysia.

: Suddenly I feel like reading The Hobbit. No no no.

When there is too much to handle.

'Cos all of me loves all of you

When there is too much to handle, sometimes one day seems like half a day. Some other times, one day seems like an eternity. I don't know which one should I prefer.

I guess those who know me will know what am I referring to. As the eldest daughter in the family, most of the times, there are too many things for me to do. Most days I can handle it. But these days, I just can't. I guess I am too tired.

I know complaining or ranting about this won't help me with these conflicting emotions; 'the struggle to be sincere in doing things' vs 'the inner battle of why-is-it-always-me and enough-is-enough kinda feeling'. However, I need to channel this somewhere so that my mind will somehow feel less burdened.

Sigh. Maybe I need to be a little bit stronger physically and emotionally. Or maybe I should listen to this poem more.

....................

I guess I am just too tired. 

But hey, everyone else too.

: 5th January 2014.

: 12.40 a.m.

: Penang, Malaysia.

: How can they look so effortlessly lovely? 

Just who am I?

Not that I am bored, it is more to I am being curious.

......................................

Memorado Personality Test

ISTP - DESCRIPTION

ISTPs have outstanding analytic skills. They have strong powers of reasoning that help them understand the way things work. 

Most of ISTPs are thrill-seekers. They are independent and need space to live the way they want. Because they always look for action, ISTPs can get bored quite quickly. 

ISTPs stick to their values and beliefs. They believe people should be treated equally and fairly. They are loyal and faithful to the ones they love. 

ISTPs are action-oriented people. Adaptable and spontaneous, they rather work on concrete tasks than abstract ones. They focus on details and have an excellent sense of expediency which enables them to make quick and effective decisions. Because they absorb a large amount of impersonal facts when interacting with the outer world, ISTPs need to spend time alone to sort their thoughts and ideas. 

ISTPs will always value impartial judgments based on facts over judgments based on personal values. They distrust their own feelings because they have difficulty distinguishing between emotional reactions and value judgments. 

ISTPs are optimistic, cheerful and action-oriented people. They have uncomplicated desires, are generous, trusting and receptive people.

FAMOUS ISTPs:Steve Jobs, Dalai Lama XIV, Vladimir Putin, Stanley Kubrick, Clint Eastwood, Daniel Craig, Christian Bale, Tom Cruise, Scarlett Johansson, Kristen Stewart, Demi Moore, Snoop Dogg, Woody Allen, Bruce Lee 

PERCENTAGE OF ISTPs AMONG POPULATION : 5.4%

.........................

Wow. Ahhaha. 

But can somebody explain to me why I am nowhere near those famous ISTPs?

: 31st December 2014.

: 2.40 p.m.

: Penang, Malaysia.

: The sun is shining brightly outside, alhamdulillah.