This heat is killing me softly.

Wake up, your sleeping heart [The Vamps]

"I am thankful for the difficult people in my life. 

They have shown me exactly who I don't want to be."

.....................

These days, the heat was too much to bear. I had to drink more than before (which is actually a good thing), I had to shower more than twice a day (oh man, I am not fond of bathing just because I am too lazy to do so), I had to keep my windows open even at night and now, my brain...my brain is on the verge of exploding with the fire of wrath (thank you dear students) and overthinking.

"In every sorrow, seek happiness."

Indeed, I am trying to live my life with the above quote. Still, trying is a never-ending battle in which both my emotions and my physical strength will have to participate. Oh, whatever. I don't even know what I am writing. 

I just finished watching 'The Heirs'. Oh please, don't judge me. I don't find that drama is that interesting because let me tell you, the story is so cliche. You know families of chaebol fighting over companies, evil parents who happen to be the presidents of the companies, rich kids fighting for power in school and of course, a love story between a chaebol and an ordinary girl who happen to have a lot of part-time jobs (and yet she has the time to date a chaebol ahhahaha this is the power of drama, people, it's dramaaaa). However, I still watched it and I find myself falling for two dark characters in that drama. Oh well, when I fall for such characters, of course, in no time, I have googled for that pairing. So, I have another pairing now and great stories with them in it are already bookmarked by me. It's time to read now, peeps. He he he he.

For those who don't understand what I have just written, don't worry, it is not that important. I just had to write it down; for me in particular. I have so much things in my mind now so I have to let certain things out so I can breathe and think properly.

Have I ever told you that since early December, one of my relatives has been urging me to get married? Oh, don't be shocked. I don't have any candidate at the moment, so yeah, my marriage might not be that soon. The thing is, this relative of mine is so persistent. Every single day (okay I exaggerated but well almost every day), she will send me a quote on marriage and marriage and marriage and marriage. She has never contacted me before that often, but since her son is getting engaged this March, she started to urge me. She tried to pair me up with a guy she barely knows and expected me to just accept that guy without having to get to know him personally. She even asked my grandmother to tell my mom to have me go for 'mandi bunga'. I was like, seriously? Mandi bunga? Seriously?! 

I know she is being concerned as I am still single and dating no one apparently, but this is burdening. I know, I am the eldest grandchild and since my cousin which is younger than me by a year and oh well, my cousin is a guy, people might start looking at me in different perspective now. Yeah, let me tell you what perspective; I am an old maiden which is so unattractive to have failed in dating anyone. I actually don't mind that much if people I don't personally close to think and see me that way. However, when my own relatives do that to me, I feel like it's true. I am unattractive. I am not interesting. I am dull. I am not sweet enough to make anyone fall in love with me. That is why I am having a lot of self-doubt recently. 

How can I love myself when people near me see me as an unattractive lady? A lady that no man looks at. A lady who is single at the age of 27 years old this year. Tell me, just how can I believe I am beautiful when in my relatives' eyes, I am a failure? This is seriously killing me inside. I might look like I don't care but deep down inside, every time I see myself in the mirror, I feel like am I that unattractive and plain ugly. So tell me, how would I believe you when you say guys will be flocking around me in no time because I am pretty? Tell me, please.

: 19th January 2016.

: 8.53 p.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: I had six periods of classes

and when I tried to be positive,

that message just killed my mood. 

Like a child.

Je ne sais pas [Joyce Jonathan]

The above gifs remind me so much of the quarrel between my siblings and I when we were kids. For something so simple like losing in a game or purposely leaning towards them when the car turned right or left, we could even start World World 3 in the tiny car. And most of the times, when we were so into our 'battle' with each other, my mom would step in and with her mandate, she forced us to make truce for the sake of world peace. Or maybe at that time, her peace. 

Now, when we are grown ups, we spend less time picking fights with each other. It's not that I miss the tension and the looooooong 'battle' that I used to have with my siblings, it's just you know, I miss us. When we were in our siblings' battle, we got to choose which side to support and we did form an alliance in order to win the fight. Well, throughout the process of fighting, we actually forgot how and why did we even start the so-called battle of the century. We would do anything to win. We formed alliance, we destroyed the belonging of the opposite side, we even seek for support from the higher ups; our mom and dad. And usually, after a lot of destruction and time wasted, in the end, nobody won. 

Why? Because no matter how you hate your siblings, blood is thicker than water. In other words, in a sibling relationship, it is normal to both love and hate each other. We get to show our dissatisfaction and our love at the same time without having to hide those feelings. And, that is what making us closer. 

Oh, I miss the feeling of being closer to them; physically. I guess I should start thinking of reasons (excuses :p ) to hit them. Or maybe, I should just hug them instead. Which one do you think suit me best? A ha ha ha ha. I guess most of you will say the former instead of the latter :p

: 16th May 2015.

: 12.05 p.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: We all have the child in us.

Unleash it once in a while.

Thanks for being here with me, lil bro.

Andai pastinya ku tahu

“Love begins at home and it is not how much we do, but how much love we put into that action. We think sometimes that poverty is only being hungry, naked and homeless. The poverty of being unwanted, unloved and uncared for is the greatest poverty. We must start in our own homes to remedy this kind of poverty.”

 - Mother Teresa

.................

“It's a commonly expressed and rather nice, romantic notion that we are all "sisters" and "brothers."

Let's be real. Fact is, we might be better served to accept that we are all siblings. 

Siblings fight, pull each other's hair, steal stuff, and accuse each other indiscriminately. 

But siblings also know the undeniable fact that they are the same blood, share the same origins, and are family. 

Even when they hate each other. 

And that tends to put all things in perspective.”

― Vera Nazarian, The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration

..................

One of my brothers is here with me in Jeli. I know I never show this to him; but I feel totally at ease and loved by his presence. Though all he knows is just watching movies and eat (for there is nothing else to do here in Jeli), I seriously feel blessed having him by my side. 

Thank you, dear bro.

Okay. I feel like crying typing this. I should stop ahha.

: 1st February 2015.

: 4.40 p.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: I love my siblings all the same.

Goodbye Atod.

I love you, you love me, we are happy family

This is what Atod looked like.

....................

"What greater gift than the love of a cat."

[Charles Dicken]

: 7th January 2015.

: 10.11 a.m.

: Penang, Malaysia.

: I woke up this morning, trying to find Atod.

I thought she was up to something outside of the house.

It turned out she was lying dead in a pool of blood at the corner of the road.

My heart broke into pieces.

This is what we did during Eid.

Ooooo balik kampung

If you ask me about how is my Eid celebration, let me tell you in one word: hectic.

I came back from Jeli on last Thursday, after school hours (pecut terus haaaa amik hang tak sabaq nak balik tau dak) and reached Penang around 5 p.m. There were a lot of cars on  the road to Penang and a lot more on the roads in Penang. Cars, why are you so many on the roadsssssss?

It was on Saturday night that we started our journey balik kampung to my mother's hometown in Malacca. This time, my two brothers and me were the drivers for this trip. Thank God we were heading south as there were way too many cars that were heading to north. I heard that the traffic jam was terrible and as there were a few accidents along the way, the cars were barely moving. Oh well, festive season. What do you expect?

This Eid was indeed happening as almost all the families from my mother's side (her siblings and their family) were gathered in my grandmother's place. It has been quite a while since we, the cousins which were almost 26 of us gathered and had a catch up session. It was wonderful to share stories and tease each other as we peeled onions, cut the vegetables, fried the chicken, cleaned the cookie jars and washed plates and more plates. Even though it was freaking tiring as the work process seemed to be never ending, it was indeed fun to be with cousins that used to be part of my childhood. We even illegally went out on a night to play fireworks and the illegal things that I shall not name ahhahaha.

On the first day of Eid, we went to relatives' houses and the mothers and fathers would talk to the relatives about the old memories for hours while the sons and daughters sat there eating and munching like nobody's business. And, as I have already started working, I was not qualified for duit raya anymore. I was the one who had to give duit raya. Noooooooooo. Ahhahaha.

On the second day of Eid, my family decided to go visit my father's siblings in Johor. It was a last minute decision and my brothers were quite reluctant due to the fact that it was not that near to go to and fro to Johor. However, despite the amount of cars on the highway, we still went to Johor. This time, my brother and I were the drivers for the day. I was extremely grateful for God gave me the ability to drive for a long distance. If not, I don't know what will happen. 

In Johor, we went to my uncle's house and ate laksa Johor. I used to dislike laksa Johor but as time passed by, I find laksa Johor quite delicious on its own. I ate two plates of laksa Johor fuhhhh alhamdulillah. After that, instead of going to my aunt's house near Skudai, we went to an old folks' home near Johor Bahru. I hate to tell you this but one of my aunts was there. She was unwell and since her children didn't want to take care of her, she was placed there. It was heartbreaking to see her there, however it was even more heartbreaking to see that she was unable to recognise my father. My heart ached to see all the old people there; having no one to visit them. They seemed so happy to see us and even came to greet us. Words could not describe what I felt at that moment. Please dear sons and daughters, no matter what, don't you ever leave your parents at any old folks' home. Your parents deserve a better place than there.

After spending almost an hour there, we had to go back as the visiting time was over for quite some time. We then decided to drop by at another uncle's house near Yong Peng. The traffic was extremely terrible. We reached his house at around 10.30 p.m and guess what time did we leave? 1.40 a.m! Urgh, I was sooooo sleepy but since I had to drive, gosh, God knows how I tried my best to stay alert on the road. Alhamdulillah, we finally reached Malacca at around 3.30 a.m. Fuhhh, what a long day.

We spent another day in Malacca and went back to Penang on Wednesday night. We reached Penang on Thursday morning and my two brothers and I went out to buy things for the house later on the afternoon. On Friday, we went and visited our nanny's house in Permatang Pauh and my aunt's house in Tasek Gelugor. Fuhhh, non-stop driving and eating. 

On Saturday morning, I went back to Jeli to serve the nation. Ahhaha ayat tak tahan. And well, now here I am, writing this. I hope tomorrow will treat me good.

: 2nd August 2014.

: 9.20 p.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: Driving is fun, as long as there is no traffic jam.

Unexpected call.

I received an unexpected call from my mom.

"Abah had an accident," she said.

And there I was, staring blankly ahead with countless thoughts and scenario in my head.

"Quick everyone, we have to go and fetch mom from her office and speed to the hospital."

........................

The perks of being the eldest sister in the family.

........................

I am grateful to Allah that it is nothing fatal.

I am grateful to Allah despite everything, we are there for each other.

I am grateful to Allah my mom and I could drive (safely) despite the mix of emotions we had.

I am grateful to Allah that my dear Abah is doing fine.

I am grateful to Allah for the prayers and support from my dear friends.

Another lesson to be grateful, dear self.

: 26th March 2014.

: 11.29 p.m.

: Penang, Malaysia.

: I feel like crying right now.

I have to do this one more thing before year 2014.

Just a smile and the rain is gone

For a person who does not like to watch any horror movie with unknown entity (in other words: ghost), I watched a horror movie yesterday. Believe it! Oh I can't believe I did watch 'The Conjuring' with my siblings at midnight. And today, before midnight, we are planning to watch another horror movie; Insidious Chapter 2.

Oh well, the movie was something. I don't mind watching thriller type of movie with psychos madness and killings and blood and everything, but I do mind watching ghost type of movie. I am not scared, but more of dislike to that type of story. You know, when people encounter ghosts, they kind of scared of ghosts more than God...so that's why I don't like about it. However, ironically, I do like the movie 'Insidious' which I watched with my siblings around...err, last year?

Alas, for 'The Conjuring', I gave it a try since it is based on true story (as they proclaimed). Not bad. And not that scary, thanks to my younger sister who spoiled the story while watching ahhahaha. So, tonight, we are going to watch the sequel for my errr...should I say favourite horror movie; Insidious? I hope the sequel will not be as bad as every sequel in the history of films should be. Oh well, whatever it is, I will watch it with my siblings yeaaahhhhhh.

I guess I have overcome my fear dislike for watching horror movie yesterday, and I hope today too! Have a great night too everyone! :)

: 31st December 2013.

: 10.15 p.m.

: Penang, Malaysia.

: Last night, I watched myself sleeping in bed.

We found him frozen in front of our house.

Not the least hard thing to bear when they go from us, these quiet friends, 

is that they carry away with them so many years of our own lives. 

[John Galsworthy]

...............

Many who have spent a lifetime in it can tell us less of love 

than the child that lost a dog yesterday.

[Thornton Wilder]

: 6th July 2012.

: 11.45 p.m.

: Penang, Malaysia.

: One of the cats just died, so does a part of our souls.

No flower as beautiful as you.

My mom is amazing

Of all the flowers I saw today,

none can be compared to your smile.

Of all the hugs I received today,

none can be compared to your soft warm hug.

Mak, happy birthday.

May Allah bless you for everything.

Thanks for loving me the way I am.
Thanks for being you.

I love you, Mak. 

I really do.

: 12th May 2012/ 13th May 2012.

: 05.02 p.m./ 00.02 a.m.

: Plymouth, U.K./ Malaysia.

: A warm regards from far.

'cos you are a phone call away.

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag

I received a news a few hours ago. If I say it was a good news, it definitely was not. A mixed feeling. I should be sad, but at the same time, I was glad. Glad that despite the bad side of it, there's still a good side. I don't know. I think I need someone to talk to, but at the same time, I think I need to be alone. Or maybe, I should just call them. 

Wahai adikku, sesungguhnya dunia ini bulat. Sesungguhnya dunia ini sementara. 

Wahai adikku, bila Allah ambil sesuatu dari kita, Dia pasti akan beri yang lebih baik dari itu.

: 3rd April 2012.

: 00.29 a.m.

: Plymouth, U.K.

: At time like this, how I wish I have my own private jet.

Prayers are our special gift from home.

“Death is a bridge that unites the lover with the beloved.”- Hadith

"A calamity that makes you turn to Allah is better for you
than a blessing which makes you forget the remembrance of Allah."

-Shaykh Ibn Taymiyyah

....................


Salam Maulidur Rasul.

Let us show our love by not only through selawat, but also by following his sunnah.

We cannot be perfect, but at least we can follow the perfect example.
For a better us everyday, insyaAllah. :)

: 5th February 2012.

: 02.40 p.m.

: Plymouth, U.K.

: My grandfather went ahead leaving all of us in meeting the Creator.
Sadness is inevitable, and distance makes those who are far away feel helpless.

But, we all promise that we will meet him there in jannah insyaAllah.

In the mean time, we will always send us our own parcel from home; prayers.

A news back from home.

Innalillahi wainna ilahi rojiun. From Him, we come and to Him, we return.

"It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things."

Lemony Snicket,The Reptile Room

I am at my weakest, so please be strong for me.

13th day.

Syafakallah.

Get well soon.

: 26th January 2012.

: 01.10 a.m.

: Plymouth, U.K.

: I should have known earlier. Hope everything will be fine there.

Everyone, please pray for my grandfather's health. Thank you.

The Hungry Forties.

Mom, I am so hungry now.

But I am too tired to cook anything.

Can you cook for me?

Please?

...

...

Mom, I am too tired now.

But I just can't sleep.

Can you switch off the light for me?

Please?

...

...

Mom, I miss you.

I really do.

Oh, I just realised that...

...only by watching animals, which in my case is, watching my cats, you won't really feel how time flies.

Seriously, these days, I found that no matter how long I watched them playing with each other, sleeping, eating, running and even chasing after my little brother's ping pong ball, I wouldn't even feel bored doing that. No matter what I do, I would surely tend to spend my leisure time watching them again and again. Honestly, I am not an animal lover, but hey, I really love my cats! Besides, shouldn't we love them all the same as they are also God's creation?

I love doing this to my cats! Kekeke.

: 21st August 2010.

: 07.25 a.m. (Malaysia)

: I love my cats. Really! 
Oh, forgot to mention this, in case you are wondering, 'kekeke' is the Koreans' way of writing 'hehehe'. 

Vanilla love.

I'm listening to: Vanilla Love 

It's the blessed month of Ramadhan now. So many things to do, so many things to achieve and so many things to catch up with. Oh, how time really flies! 

I have lots and lots of things to tell actually, but prior to time constraint and the slow internet connection plus the heavy rain for these past few days, I didn't really have the chance to write and tell about it. 

I find that 'ikan tenggiri masak asam pedas' is so freaking nice and tasty! Especially when I eat it during 'sahur'. Hehehe. 

I love words. I mean, good words. That's why recently I am more into songs with good lyrics. Nah, not sad and unhappy songs like usual. This time, I am into good and happy songs. Really. 

Going for Tarawikh prayer is so fun, especially when you go with your siblings. Hehe, my youngest sister looks so cute and innocent in her bright blue 'telekung'. Mine? Of course in pure white! 

I find that those who can recite Al-Quran and prayers very well are so gorgeous, even without looking at their faces. For me, no matter how they look like, they have the most gorgeous heart ever. Oh, I really hope that I can be as gorgeous as them! 

I love it when the cats are running behind me when I bring them their favourite fried fish. Oh yeah, my cats are so spoilt, thanks to my three younger siblings. They don't eat raw fish, they only take fried fish. Sigh. 

In terms of entertainment (in this context, I'm referring to Korean entertainment in which I am addicted to recently), I think I like variety shows more than Korean drama series. I know I'm weird. But what does it have to do with you? Ah, why did I even bother to tell in the first place? (Inner-conflict a.k.a intrapersonal conflict) 

Do you know how many tigers are left now? 

Sometimes I feel that certain video clips nowadays tend to stray away from the real message of the songs. The fans tend to acknowledge the songs based on the video clips more than the lyrics, thus, making me wonder, what is actually the real value and meaning of a song. 

I think I worry too much about little things. 

Love that can't be together is also known as love. 

Famous people are normal people like us. It is just in terms of achievement that we differ from each other. 

Internet can be dangerously hazardous and addictive if one doesn't know how to control oneself in using it. 

I prefer calling more than sending SMS. It's because, sometimes, reading the text on your own might be different from what the person is trying to tell. And yeah, because of the space limit too. 

I have the habit of keep playing the same song over and over again throughout the day until I am bored listening to it. So, bear with it. 

I just knew yesterday that 'selca' which is often used in Korean entertainment industry is a short term for 'self-camera'. 

Oh yeah, even if I always mention about my 'crush' and 'love' towards any artists or public figures, it doesn't mean I idolised them. I only like their good traits and determination. It is not wrong to like other people's good characteristics and traits, right? 

Procrastination is sure leading to destruction. This applies to me only, because I have two big pails of clothes waiting to be hung now. 

Too many things to do at home, yet I am wasting my time writing this and downloading more videos. Oh, speaking of wasting time.

: 20th August 2010.

: 11.02 a.m. (Malaysia)

: Out to do chores now. Happy~

Bubbly.

After almost a year away, yeah, I can't help but to notice the changes of almost everything around me. 

For once in my life, I feel like totally a stranger in my own house. I don't know how to open my toilet's door, I don't have my own bed anymore ( I have to share bed with my sisters now), and I find it quite difficult to find things around me. 

Did I tell you my house is almost fully renovated? Yeah, it is. No matter how cool the front door is, I still like my previous dull looking sliding door. 

My room is now in bright pink. My little sister is the one who chose the colour of course. 

I now have like seven cats (including kittens) in my house and yeah, unlike a year ago, they are now free to move around in the house. Oh, I hate it when they jump onto my lap while I'm eating. But, since they are cute and harmless (not scratching me at least), they're forgiven. 

I never noticed how big my rice cooker is until I wanted to add more rice into my plate. I guess that's the effect after months and months using the small rice cooker in the U.K. 

Oh, I can't still take the heat. Sorry Mom for complaining a lot about the heat. Really, sometimes it gets too hot in the evening. 

I can't find my mangas anywhere. When I asked Mom, she said that they are definitely somewhere in the house. But, the problem is, where? Wuuu... 

Everything is not in their place and I can't stand looking at it. Oh, I guess the old me have to emerge by now. Time for a vast cleaning, people! 

My parents look even thinner than they were. I couldn't help feeling worried. Please, do eat more. 

I find that the TV programmes are not that interesting to watch, but when I want to watch something from the internet, huh, it is so slow. I guess cleaning the house is better than waiting for it. But hey, I'm not that hardworking. 

The slower the internet is, the more videos I feel like watching. Now I'm totally addicted to search for any Korean variety shows or music videos. Hehhe, I currently like this song! Kyaa~  

I want to eat laksa, but my Mom haven't bought one for me. :( 

It gets a bit lonely in the morning. My parents go to work while my little sister and brothers go to school. I guess the cats are my best companions at the moment. 

I wonder how my housemates and those who are not going back are doing now. Probably they are still sleeping. Seriously, I kind of missing my bed. I want my own bed! Wuuu... 

The ants are everywhere. Not to forget, mosquitoes! Oh, I know both me and my blood are sweet, please don't do this to me. 

So far, I have eaten more than I used to in the U.K. I wonder why people often get fatter in the U.K. because I think I'm about to get fatter here. Nothing beats Mom's cooking! 

It feels a bit weird seeing a lot of Malay-speaking people around me. Ceh, poyo jer kan? But, really, sometimes I myself almost forget not to criticise anybody in Malay anymore. It's rather hard to stop doing so, seriously! 

Jet lag? I guess for the first and second day I'm suffering from it. I hope I won't, today. 

Despite all the changes and differences, I am more than happy to be around my family. Even if for a while, being with them makes me feel like I'm a child, once again. Please pamper me more.  

I want to feel like a child again, with less to worry. 

I guess I'll be missing the cold weather in the U.K and my comfy bed for now. But, still, no matter what, I guess I must enjoy every moment here with my family or else, when I am back in the U.K. after the summer holidays end, I'll end up missing them like crazy. 

So now, let the fun begin!

: 08.59 a.m ( Malaysia )
: 22nd July 2010. 

: Yeah, I woke up rather early today! 
Oh no, I think I must start doing all the house chores by now. Bye!

Tomorrow

...
Just a little while more before I can talk to you.

I have hold myself back from talking to you for these past few weeks.

Well, maybe you thought I was too busy to even ring you.

But actually, I myself who purposely did not even make any effort.

I'm waiting for the right time to call you.

I'm waiting for the right day to talk to you.

I just want to talk to you non-stop...

tomorrow.

Yes, tomorrow.

Why tomorrow?

Because tomorrow, the SPM result is finally out.

Because tomorrow is the red day for all of us.

Because tomorrow, my brother will receive his result.

That's why I choose tomorrow.

Not because I have forgotten all of you.

It's because I care so much about all of you.

You don't know how much I miss you.

Please wait, tomorrow I will definitely call.

I will, insyaAllah.

Until then, please pray for me.
Mak, Abah, please pray for all of us.

: 10th March 2010.

: Plymouth, U.K.

: It's so cold and hot at the same time recently. 
I just miss Malaysia's weather so much. 
On top of that, I miss my family so damn much.

More than just a movie.

....
I've been watching quite a number of movies for these past few days.
Looked like I was too free and had nothing to do than spending my leisure time watching movies, eh?
Yes, you got it right!
But hey, I did not simply watch and enjoy myself with it.
In fact, almost all of the movies that I watched convey a very deep and meaningful message.
The themes of hope, courage, humanity, dignity, love and friendship are conveyed behind every conflict, plot, action, dialogue throughout the movies.
These movies are not just the movies to entertain, but rather, they are the kind of movies which educate us to think.
If you think you are the most troubled person in the world, think again.
These movies show you that in this small world we live in, there are a lot of people who face a lot of problems, perhaps more difficult problems than you.
So, be grateful.
Treasure your life and cherish every moment.
You live only once. Value it and don't live in regret.
Remember, there will be a day when God will ask you,
 "What have you done with your life?"

( Oh God, he is so sweet. I really like guys who appreciate their mother and express their love like him. Syurga di bawah tapak kaki ibu, kan? So, don't be stingy in showing your love to your mother! )

Click this link for the song which he sang for his mother=> 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWwl9GNkmpg 

: 31st January 2010.

: 03.09 a.m.

: Plymouth, U.K.

: Tomorrow I'm going out to buy things (food especially) for myself. 
But I just don't know what to buy. Sigh. Poor self-management! 
By the way, the songs in 'Talentime' really stuck in my head now. 
Awesome and yet very touching!

RINDU.

I miss my family, my friends, my cats, my manga(s) and Malaysia on the whole! REALLY. I really2 miss all of them. And now, after about three months here in United Kingdom, I know how absence makes heart grow fonder. No matter where they are, I pray hard so that Allah will always hold them in His hand.

I hope you guys are doing fine right now. :)

For those who are with their beloved ones right now, DO, do value them while they are still there with you. Because, when they are no longer there by your side, you will know how painful it is to be missing them. But alas, no matter how lonely you feel, Allah is always there with you. Just remember that! :)

[ P/S: I want to thank my friend for dedicating a wonderful song by Maher Zain to me.

Thanks so much. I did ignore the word 'wife' like what you asked me to. 

Thanks. You never know how it made my day.] 

Just click on this link for the song;  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2Uf-X9luhw

:7th January 2010.

:08.48 pm.

:Plymouth,UK.

:Not so cold as it is not snowing today. 
I still can see Abu Bakar, the snowman from my window 
and now I'm drinking ASDA chocolate flavoured milk. :)