Amboih, that doctor.

Sing me to sleep now [Alan Walker]

"There are people in the world who love you. 

There are even people out there you haven't met yet who will love you someday."

.........................

Other adults: "I own my own business, I'm happily married and I have my future all planned out."

Me: "I'm eating cereal today."

.........................

This doctor in the drama I am currently watching (because of Lee Jong Suk of course) is sooooooooooo amboiiiii with his mouth. At times I feel like rubbing chillies on his mouth, though at times I want to laugh with what he said. Adoiii.

: 14th August 2016.

: 7.35 p.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan. 

: I miss home badly. 

I won't tell a soul.

If I showed you my flaws, if I couldn't be strong, tell me honestly, would you still love me the same

"If there's anything I've learned from my recent spiritual/ religious studies and silently observing my environment, it's that when God loves you, He won't necessarily bless you in ways that are obvious or material like a new high-powered job or prestigious degrees. Instead, He will favour you in ways that make you more grounded internally and make you a better human being. He will give you a better sense of self. He will give you a better sense of self-worth. He will give you charity in knowledge. He will give you clarity in knowing Him. He will give you more opportunities to help others. And ultimately, He will give you peace of mind and a sound heart. Sometimes, His blessings are not obvious."

.................

Why can't anyone put them together as the main leads instead? We need villain-like couples too, not just sweet mushy pairs.

Why? So that we can see a drama where instead of evil parents or jealous frenemy, it is them who ruin each other's love life. You know, it will be so anxious and frustrating to watch how unpredictable they might be and how their ego and dark sides will test the love that they have for each other. Because, in this life, rather than other people, it is us who make it difficult for happiness to creep in our life. It is us who build walls and hurt others; just to protect our own hearts. But in the end, it is us who hurt ourselves.

See, isn't it interesting to watch this kind of drama? We need our main leads to have flaws because admit it, we all do have flaws, in our own way. 

....................

These few days, I noticed how my dear friends are having dark days of their own. I have been there; you know, the feeling of sadness, self-pity, self-doubt and hurt even though the reasons might not be the same. Some time this week, in my English class, I taught my students of a poem entitled 'What Has Happened to Lulu?'. One of the issues in the poem is 'everyone, no matter what is their age, faces their own kind of problems'.  While teaching them this, I had this realisation that yeah, we all have our own problems. For us, we find that our problem is big, and sometimes much bigger than everyone else's. When others tell us not to fret too much, we feel that it is unfair for them to say so because they don't know how we feel. That is why most of the times, we feel like people won't understand us because they are not in our shoes. However, my dear, God is fair. Whatever problem we are facing, it is because He knows that no one, except us who can bear such burden. Hence, that is why in Quran, there is a verse saying; "Allah does not burden a soul more than it can bear."

So, my dear friends, please be strong and have faith that no matter how bad it is right now, He will make sure you can go through it. I love you all the same, and while I am physically far from each of you, my prayers are just behind you. Until we meet again, do take care.

: 29th January 2016.

: 10.30 p.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: Be gentle with yourself, you're doing the best you can.

The phone call that I longed for.

You could be my unintended [Muse]

These two kids are so childish around each other, yet they are alluringly dangerous with other people. Aishhh, what has that story done to me? How can I, of all the characters in the drama, fall in love with these two? They are not even a pair in the drama. Why did I fall for these two villains and want them to be together so much that it hurts my imagination? Oh, my idea of a perfect pairing is getting out of hand now. I seriously need to stop falling for such dark, damaged characters. Or maybe, I should stop reading that story. But I still have ten more chapters to go.

....................

Someone whom I dear so much called me out of blue. It started with a hot gossip about other people and ended up with more gossips about each other. Oh, love is weird. But I love you hehehe. 

......................

"I don't even know how to cope with all the scars in my heart,

how will I be able to deal with any of yours?"

-Choi Young Do, The Heirs

: 20th January 2016.

: 11.43 p.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: Dear, I think we both have trust issues. How can we cope with this?

That hairstyle, though.

Pavane for the Dead Princess [piano]

"Of course, she must be sleeping, sleeping deeply, wrapped in the darkness of that strange little world of hers."

-Haruki Murakami

.......................

Last night, after so many nights of watching English movies, I started to watch a Korean drama series. I decided to watch that drama because of the main actor but along the process, I am falling for the second lead actor. Am I suffering from the second lead syndrome? Oh my.

"Your heart. Don't give your whole heart. Leave some of it." 

[Chang Soo, High Society]

And after watching 9 episodes of that drama, I couldn't care less about the main leads and the plot. I continued to watch just because of that second lead actor. Oh, he is not that handsome or what, but he kinda grew on me. I guess it must have something to do with the character. You know, a chaebol who is also a player but ends up falling for a commoner and yet finds it hard to put in effort for true love. Sounds familiar, eh? Yeah, you got it right. His character is almost similar with that Boys Over Flower's So Yi Jung. He is one of the characters in Kdrama land whom I find so interesting to watch. Why oh why on earth I find such characters interesting? I shouldn't. In real life, such rich players won't even fall for commoners and even if they do, they won't change that much. Oh these fictional characters; they are so frustratingly alluring to me ohhhhh whyyyyy.

Ehhh, why does he look like my Shim Changmin here? Oh my eyes.

....................

"I do not miss childhood, but I miss the way I took pleasure in small things, even as greater things crumbled. I could not control the world I was in, could not walk away from things or people or moments that hurt, but I took joy in the things that made me happy."

-Neil Gailman.

: 9th January 2016.

: 4.50 p.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: Today is a battle of laziness and house chores.

Thank God for the strength to get up from my bed and do laundry.

That messy look caught my attention.

Found You [Sungkyunkwan Scandal OST]

"I fell in love with you on a bleak rainy day

because you pointed to the sun

when all I saw were dark clouds."

....................

It wasn't a waste of time

if you learned something.

....................

"I hope one day 

someone asks you

about him

and you laugh

instead of feeling

a double edged

dagger on your chest."

.....................

In my history of watching drama, I have watched two sageuk (Korean historical drama) series just because of him. Why? Because I find that he looks much more charming and way more attractive being messy and wearing the traditional Korean clothes. Yeah, I know my definition of charming is weird but hey, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, right?  

And guess what, a new sageuk drama series is currently aired with him in it.  But that drama has 50 episodes! Arghhhh that's a lot of episodes I tell ya. Should I or should I not? Aishhh, this rebellious namja. Aishhh.

: 19th November 2015.

: 10.20 p.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: Today, at school, a teacher suddenly asked me a question
and persistently wanted me to answer it.

I ended up feeling bad for lying.
But you will too if you are in my shoes.

My heart goes dugeun dugeun.

Because of you, this heart of mine goes thump thump [Sunny Hill]

It was the same day like any other. The weather was unpredictable and I was mentally tired after long hours in the school. My body felt exhausted, too exhausted beyond words. Ironically, my mind was wide awake. I planned for a short nap (yeah right), however, no matter how well I plan, He is indeed the best planner. I lay on my bed, forcing my eyes to shut so that I could get a nap. I tossed on the bed, lulling myself to sleep. To my dismay, I couldn't fall asleep. 

So, instead of wasting my time trying to get a nap, I switched on my laptop. What should I watch today, I wonder. A new drama series? Or one random episode of Running Man? I just couldn't decide. After some time passed, I chose the latter instead of the former. Great. Now, which episode? Which guest should I watch? Hurm, Lee Dong Wook? Watched him already. Ji Sung? Yeah, watched him twice. Kim So Hyun? Hurm, not today. Ahhhh, Lee Jong Suk! I haven't watched him since his latest drama Pinocchio early this year. Ahhhhh, Lee Jong Suk and that boyish smiles. I guess Lee Jong Suk will do.

And, after an hour watching him with Song Ji Hyo trying to accomplish the Secret Couple mission in Running Man Episode 181, I find myself browsing through his videos; from Running Man episode to his drama series. 

 I seriously like the background song they use for every interaction that these two have.

And without me realising it, I have finished watching Pinocchio (again) and Doctor Stranger (urgh that drama was such a flop, I only watched his part) and now I am watching I Hear Your Voice. 

One thing about this namja is his smitten smiles. Aishhh I have such a soft spot for that kind of smiles. Of course Gong Yoo has the best smitten smiles (for me) but every time Lee Jong Suk smiles, I feel like my screen is literally exploding with rainbows and unicorns. Aishhh this namja. What spell have you put on me?

Look at how this smile is invading my train of thoughts these few days.

........................

"The people who left you did not understand how to love you. 

This does not mean you are unloveable. 

It means not everyone is equipped to handle the extraordinary."

......................

We mature with the damage,

not with the years.

: 5th November 2015.

: 6.50 p.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: Seriously Lee Jong Suk is not my type,

but why he is now in my heart?

Get a grip dear heart. Wake up!

For every ending, there is a new beginning.

Here I am [Secret Garden OST]

"Every single success you experience is a combination of two things:

your effort and Allah's help.

When you don't put in enough effort, Allah does not give His barakah.

And sometimes you might put in a lot of effort but you may not see the result you expected.

That, also, is Allah's barakah." 

-Nouman Ali Khan.

...................

Sticks and stones may break your bones

but tv shows and books will crush your soul to a million pieces.

..................

One of my friends randomly mentioned a new drama series to me. And now, after I finished watching Secret Garden, I am totally hooked to the new drama. The drama is still ongoing, though. Urgh, to wait for a new episode to come out is somehow testing my patience. I have to wait for weekends to be able to watch it. Urgh, my weekends. I should put the blame solely on her. Why on earth did you mention it, my dear? Arghhhhhhhhh.

Or, rather than putting the blame on her, I should put the blame on my own self. I am easily influenced, I guess. Get a grip, my dear self. Get a grip. Your kids are going to sit for SPM examination soon. You have to remind them on how to write essays better and don't forget Physics too! Transistor! You have to revisit that chapter as soon as possible! Arghhhhhhhhh.

: 21st October 2015.

: 11.34 p.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: I went to the clinic a few days ago

and the doctor told me my blood pressure was so low.

That explains the fatigue and the mild headache

I have been experiencing since last two weeks.

Of that sparkly hideous looking blue jacket.

That Man [Secret Garden OST]

"The tears of a sinner is more beloved 

to Allah

than the

arrogance of a righteous man."

..................

Some of you might wondering how on earth I actually have time to watch all sorts of drama series when I am actually working as a secondary school English (and Physics apparently) teacher. Some of you also might find how ironic it is for me to spend so much time watching drama series now (when I am supposed to be busier working) instead of when I was a student; having the time of my life in the U.K once upon a time. Oh well, don't feel bad wondering about that because I myself am wondering how and why this is happening. But, never mind. This will not come out in any exam or interview, so let's just leave it like that, okay?

After finished watching Hana Yori Dango last week, I had this weird feeling of emptiness in my heart. Thinking that it has something to do with the lack of love that I have been feeling since last month (thanks to the amount of stress in teaching exam classes and attending post-mortem meetings), I urged myself to find another mushy drama series (urgh I can't believe I am in need of watching romantic drama series). It took me two days to figure out which drama series I should properly watch as a reward after a long day at school. I was torn between re-watching BIG (with my Gong Yoo in it of course) and watching Secret Garden. 

Secret Garden was a hit when I was in the U.K and I still remember how almost all my friends went crazy over the coffee foam kiss (oopppsss). However, to tell you the truth, I didn't even finish watching the drama. At that time, I only managed to watch until the 2nd episode and until now, I don't even know the exact story line of the drama. But surprisingly, I know the OST of the drama so well to the point that I can even sing it. Weird, right? But yes I admit, I am a weird person. So, after some thoughts, I decided to watch Secret Garden just to put an end to this unfinished business. Gong Yoo can wait. 

So, how do I find the drama so far? It is too mushy oh goshhh it makes me cringe when I think of certain dialogues and scenes ohhhhhh. I guess the reason why I didn't continue watching it years ago is because of the mushiness which makes both my fingers and toes curl ooohhhhhhhh. Oh well, years ago, I was not a fan of sweet mushy cliche type of drama but look at me now. People change and so does my preference ahhahahha. So now, I am watching Secret Garden with a new perspective. I might not like the drama a few years ago, but now, I find the drama interesting and it sure leaves an impression to me as an audience.

As I am writing this, I have come to an understanding of why this drama series was a hit back then. It is a pity that I wasn't able to enjoy this drama with my friends at that time because if I did enjoy it, I would be able to go gaga with them in the class while waiting for our lecturer to come in. To be honest with you, watching Secret Garden makes me miss them so much to the point that I feel that after typing this, when I wake up in the morning tomorrow, I will sit in the class and gossip with my friends over the cringing dialogues by Hyun Bin. However, like what Hyun Bin said in the drama, this is just my imagination. 

I miss sharing thoughts (and obsession) over drama series with my dear friends. However, the time to do that has long gone. Now is not the time to obsess over handsome actors and sweet romantic drama series anymore. Now is the time to fully step into reality; where responsibility lies in every action that we take. 

However, my dear friends, when reality hits you hard, don't be too hard on yourself. You can steal a bit of time to do things that you personally enjoy; like what I have been doing these days-- watching drama series.

And before I forget, salam Maal Hijrah. Let's be a better person; not just for every new year, but every day.

....................

"Make yourself a priority 

once in a while.

It's not selfish.

It's necessary."

: 13th October 2015.

: 11.00 p.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: Olmanaaa olmanaaaaaaaaaa~

"We are the people of Saturn", said Domyouji.

"Anytime you're gonna grow, you're gonna lose something. You're losing what you're hanging onto to keep safe. You're losing habits that you're comfortable with, you're losing familiarity."

-James Hillman

..................

My Jdorama feels is back, peeps. For the past three days I have been watching an old Jdorama (Japanese drama) series, no matter how busy I was (and I still am at the moment). I don't know why but I just feel like revisiting the plot of Hana Yori Dango, the Japanese version of Boys Over Flower (BOF). Of course you all know that Hana Yori Dango and its Japanese, Korean (Boys Over Flower), and Taiwanese (Meteor Garden-- ohhh Dao Ming Si!) adaptions are all based on the manga by the same name by Yoko Kamio. It became super popular and regarded as one of the classic series in most Kdrama addicts' hearts, even after all these years.  

And, as most of you would probably know by now how the Korean version of BOF has such a special place in my heart-- thanks to the second pairing that I love the most; Yi Jung and Ga Eul, ironically, I never liked the main leads of the Korean version. Sorry, Gu Jun Pyo. I just don't find you and the heroine lovable enough to put in my list of favourite pairings. 

Instead, I find myself falling in love with the main leads in Hana Yori Dango. The chemistry between Matsumoto Jun (Tsukasa Domyouji) and Inoue Mao (Makino Tsukushi) was apparent; I felt like they are a real couple, unlike the Korean version. Jun was so amazing in this drama, he's truly the perfect actor for Domyouji and oh, he is the reason I am laughing throughout this drama. His quirkiness, his language mistakes and his attitude; all those made him lovable (even though actually I never find him cute or handsome in other drama series). And for the heroine, I like this version best of Makino, she’s sweet, powerful, and stubborn at times, but she’s the one that resembles the original manga Makino the most. For me, Inoue Mao was perfect as Makino. Throughout the two seasons of this drama, we see her change a lot; in a good way. She starts off as somehow uncaring person, and ends up defending her love and her right to choose the way she lives. In comparison to the Korean version, I could see how she hated Domyouji at the beginning of the drama and ended up falling in love with Domyouji as the plot progresses. Even I, as the audience, ended up falling in love with this Makino and rooted for her and Domyouji (no matter how I actually love Oguri Shun who acted as Hanazawa Rui, the second hero in the drama). See, this is the power of love, people, the power of love! Ahhahaha.

Oh well, after this I am going to watch Hana Yori Dango movie to end this infatuation. The sooner I watch, the better. Or else, I might be spazzing over these two dorks for quite some time. I don't want that. My students are struggling for their upcoming exams.  I need to get in touch with reality as soon as possible.

: 3rd October 2015.

: 7.45 p.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: I heard Matsumoto Jun and Inoue Mao have been dating for 9 years now.

If it's true, I wish them happiness.

If not, I still have them as a happy couple in Hana Yori Dango. 

"Hey you, Sweet Potato."

Sempurna waktu, ada dirimu, ada cintamu

“Because there is no future if there is no present.” 

............................

The reason I am now hooked to this drama series is the heroine. Even though she is frustratingly blind to her own heart at times, I understood every bit of her reaction as it is her way of building a tough shell for herself against others. A woman who protects herself so well that she forgets to sometimes let others in—that’s a character I fundamentally understand and relate to. 

...........................

"The ones who notice the storms in your eyes,

the silence in your voice 

and the heaviness in your heart

are the ones you need to let in."

: 5th August 2015.

: 10.03 p.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: Today in school, my friend showed me a post which made me laughed at myself.

And the best thing in school is; almost all teachers thought I have already engaged.

My, my, my. Where on earth did the rumour come from? A single person like me?

Ahhh biarkan. Skandal pun skandal lah, janji tak tanya soalan lebih lebih. Erk.

The Hours of My Life.

"And whoever does a wrong or wrongs himself, 

but then seeks forgiveness from Allah, 

he will find Allah forgiving and merciful."

(Surah An-Nisa', 4: 110)

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Boku no Ita Jikan (The Hours of My Life)

I have to admit that the moment I knew Haruma Miura acted in this drama, even though I know for sure (especially from the title) that it is a melodrama, I started to search and read the reviews; hoping that it is worth watching (and crying) for. And tell you what, I regret watching the first episode, not because the drama seems to be lousy, but because it seems to be good and unfortunately for me, the story is like a road that may be painful to walk on *weeps and grabs a tissue*.

It must be the tragic nature of the main character that attracts me to this drama (oh no I am not a sadist and well, put aside Haruma Miura please). This drama revolves around Sawada Takuto (played by Haruma Miura) who recently graduated from the university and has a difficult time getting a job. For the first few episodes, we can  see how Takuto; being the eldest son of a doctor, is emotionally hurt of being compared to his younger brother who is on his way of becoming a doctor and of being rejected from all the companies that he went for interview. It is still early for us to see how depressing this drama will be but as we see his struggles in keeping a positive outlook throughout the interviews and keeping a cheerful face as the parent seems to pay more attention to his brother, we cannot help but feel sorry for him. However, the presence of Hongo Megumi (played by Mikako Tabe), the girl whom he met during one of the interviews, adds sunshine to his life. Both of them happen to share the same bad luck of not getting a full-time job.

The first few episodes show how frustrating yet sweet Takuto's life is. After he is finally accepted by a furniture company, Takuto has to endure both harsh complaints from his senior colleagues and the lack of acknowledgement from his parent over his efforts in finally getting a decent job. But no, that is not all. As the plot develops, it seems like he has to endure something more tragic; he has ALS (whyyyyyyy of all people Takuto whyyyyyyy).

This drama, though almost similar with the most famous (and depressing to watch) drama of incurable disease; One Litre of Tears ( I cried not one litre but litres of tears wuwuwuuu my poor Nishikido Ryo), is interestingly different and special on its own. This drama shows that society can get ugly; but there are people who are willing to accept, willing to hope, willing to help. Oh, at least there is hope for humanity (especially in this sick world we are living now). 

....................

me      : you should watch this show.
friend : oh yeah? how was it?
me      : it shatters your heart and soul into a million pieces and makes you weep for months.
friend : ...
me      : it's good, you should watch it.

: 27th June 2015.

: 3.00 p.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: "I think you do meet people you are destined to meet." [Sawada Takuto] 

It's Okay, That's Love.

You make me live

........................

For me, It's Okay, That's Love is one of the best melodrama that I have ever watched in Kdrama land. As most of us know, most of the Korean drama series revolve around sweet love story of a poor girl who has a whole load of aegyo falling in love with rich, handsome chaebol (most of the times; a spoilt brat). Such features are so common and even so, most people watch them because they love the idea of a happy ending in such an unrealistic love encounter between two people from an extreme opposite wealth status and background. Admit it, more often than not, we love watching these type of stories because we love to imagine and dream about how it will happen to us eventually. But well, in most cases, it won't happen to us.

However, this drama, even though it does feature a handsome and rich hero, this guy is no near to perfect. After a few episodes, we will come to our realisation that despite his so-called perfect life and smiles, this guy actually suffers from Schizophrenia. Schizophrenia is a mental disorder often characterized by abnormal social behavior and failure to recognize what is real. I have read somewhere that someone who was suffering from this illness mentioned; "With schizophrenia, my thoughts can be like pieces of a mismatched jigsaw puzzle." The inability to differentiate what is real and what is not is undeniably frustrating and depressing to those who suffer from it. This in a way will affect their whole lives and those whom they love. Therefore, throughout this drama, it is intriguing to watch how the girl confronts this revelation and how the guy is going to face his illness. 

To tell you honestly, watching this drama makes me feel both sad and happy. Sad to see how people often treat those who suffer from mental illnesses like they are similar to criminals and happy to see how this drama brings forward the idea that love, no matter what, is what helping people to understand, help and achieve what seemed impossible at first. If you need something different, please watch this drama. 

: 22nd May 2015.

: 2.50 p.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: Are you doing okay, dear me?

Like a child.

Je ne sais pas [Joyce Jonathan]

The above gifs remind me so much of the quarrel between my siblings and I when we were kids. For something so simple like losing in a game or purposely leaning towards them when the car turned right or left, we could even start World World 3 in the tiny car. And most of the times, when we were so into our 'battle' with each other, my mom would step in and with her mandate, she forced us to make truce for the sake of world peace. Or maybe at that time, her peace. 

Now, when we are grown ups, we spend less time picking fights with each other. It's not that I miss the tension and the looooooong 'battle' that I used to have with my siblings, it's just you know, I miss us. When we were in our siblings' battle, we got to choose which side to support and we did form an alliance in order to win the fight. Well, throughout the process of fighting, we actually forgot how and why did we even start the so-called battle of the century. We would do anything to win. We formed alliance, we destroyed the belonging of the opposite side, we even seek for support from the higher ups; our mom and dad. And usually, after a lot of destruction and time wasted, in the end, nobody won. 

Why? Because no matter how you hate your siblings, blood is thicker than water. In other words, in a sibling relationship, it is normal to both love and hate each other. We get to show our dissatisfaction and our love at the same time without having to hide those feelings. And, that is what making us closer. 

Oh, I miss the feeling of being closer to them; physically. I guess I should start thinking of reasons (excuses :p ) to hit them. Or maybe, I should just hug them instead. Which one do you think suit me best? A ha ha ha ha. I guess most of you will say the former instead of the latter :p

: 16th May 2015.

: 12.05 p.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: We all have the child in us.

Unleash it once in a while.

There are several people living in each of us.

Hallucination [Jang Jae In]

.................................

Water is the softest thing,

yet it can penetrate mountains and earth.

This shows clearly the principle 

of softness overcoming hardness.

.................................

: 13th May 2015.

: 9.20 p.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: Today is my superwoman's birthday.

Happy birthday, mak :)

Most people are the victims of their own thoughts.

Standing still, Jenny, you've got me on my knees

..................

We had PTA meeting today in the school. Since I was the Master of Ceremony (MC), I had to withstand the boredom, the sleepiness and the evening heat that nearly making me punch someone's face. I know PTA meeting is a good medium for teachers and parents to meet and discuss about their kids and school in overall, but what I don't like is; waiting for the VIPs to come and when they come, we have to wait and listen for a word or two (yeahh right) by them. I don't mind if it's related to the development of the school and such, however, most of the times, they don't really go into that topic only. So it's like wasting time; waiting for them to come and waiting for them to finish talking. From 2.30 p.m until 6.15 p.m. Urghhhh wasting my time. So much waste. What a waste. Oh.

...................

What I like about Episode 7 of It's Okay That's Love drama series is when Hae Soo didn't even say a word when Jae Yeol said, "I'm fine. He didn't beat me up too much." Instead, she hugged him and patted his shoulder. And that's when his cool demeanor fell apart. 

I think that the moment we try to be strong is the moment we are at our weakest.

: 5th April 2015.

: 10.20 p.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: This drama is not for those who prefer sweet romantic type of drama.

This drama is a bit like the movie 'A Beautiful Mind.'

You have to sit through episodes of a perfect looking hero 

with a dark and disturbing past life (and mental health too)

and a strong heroin with the fear of loving someone.

Spend at least 5 minutes to call your parents or grandparents.

Best Luck [Chen EXO] 

"Aimer, c’est prendre soin de la solitude de l’autre sans jamais la combler, 

ni même la connaître."

"To love is to take care of the solitude of the other without filling it, 

and without even knowing it."

...................

Yesterday, my housemate and I were so caught up with Headcount thingy that we didn't even manage to breathe the fresh air outside of the Headcount room at school.  Urgh, what an exaggeration but it's the truth. From morning until 2  o'clock we locked ourselves in the room; cracking our brain to get through the system. So that's why today, I spent my whole day resting and doing nothing (I did the laundry, though). We need rest, okay.

Oh, what is Headcount? From my understanding, Headcount is a system where teachers can at least predict how many As, Bs, Cs, Ds and Es that the SPM candidates will achieve by looking at their academic progress from the marks that they get for each test. Teachers can also predict which students will excel in the examination by referring to the TOV (take off value) of each student. From this system, teachers will also be able to know what marks should students get for each test so that they can achieve their ETR (estimated target result) in SPM. By doing this, we can predict what is the GPS (Gred Purata Sekolah/ Average School Grade) for the year and teachers in respective subject can at least know which students to focus on in order to get them achieve the ETR. Well, in other words, it is just like a progress chart for the students' academic achievement.

At lot of work, though, in making sure this Headcount thingy complete. So, as my housemate, Miss Penggemar Sushi is the assistant secretary for Examination committee and me as the assistant for Headcount committee (I think so, I actually don't really know what is my post that made me doing this Headcount thingy), we have to do the Headcount for the school.

I am actually quite new to the system, so I had to watch from the side how my housemate went about with the system. Wow, a lot of statistics to be dealt and oh man, my eyes were almost blind looking at the screen for too long. Almost. You know how I am not a fan of numbers, so doing this Headcount thingy made my head spun and God knows how I wished for this dreadful process to end. People said 'two is better than one' and I couldn't agree more. Thank God for my gorgeous (hopefully she won't read how I praise her here ahhahaha) housemate's guidance and a bit of manipulating here and there, we managed to get this thing off the shoulder.

I know that complaining won't make any work done but let me just write this to let my heart and brain at peace. Please rest, dear troubled heart and brain. 

..................

“Tonight, I also suggest you to (instead of others) ask yourself, 

‘Are you really okay?’ 

Check on yourself like this 

and do a warm ‘good night’ to yourself.” 

-Jang Jae Yeol [ It's Okay That's Love]

: 4th April 2015.

: 12.10 a.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: I watched 'Interstellar' today. Wow.
I also bought some things online. Nooooooo.

Pinocchio.

Sugar [Maroon 5]

................

What I love about Pinocchio (a Korean drama) is that it features on family love in a unique and heartwarming way. The love between both Grandfather and Dal Po, and both In Ha and Dad is so pure that it makes me feel good despite the not-so-good days and emotions I have been feeling after school. 

So, safe to say that, this drama is one of my favourite drama series this year. I hope more heartwarming drama will come out later. When I say heartwarming, it means that it has not only romantic element, but also family and friendship elements as well. The shows that make you feel good; not those that make you feel forever alone that kind of feeling. Ahha.

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“There are many times in life when I’m made to realize just how small this world truly is. I’m sure there’s been times in everyone’s lives when you meet a perfect stranger and come to realize their fate is intertwined with yours.” 

: 7th March 2015.

: 4.40 p.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: I need more feel good drama now. 

Choi Dal Po.

And if you really need me, you gotta gotta got to love me harder

“A new experience can be extremely pleasurable, or extremely irritating, or somewhere in between, and you never know until you try it out.” 

― Lemony Snicket, The Blank Book

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I was the MC for today's event. Due to some distractions and my nervousness, I unintentionally said "the school's target is 8Bs" instead of 8As. Opps. A slip of tongue. I couldn't take back my words. Ahha. Ahha. Ahha.

......................... 

Literally me.

Oh, not the overnight part.

The shoulder part.

My shoulder feels so stiff and painful these few days.

I blame the workload.

: 5th February 2015.

: 7.30 p.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: I am currently watching a Korean drama series.

The problem is; I managed to get only 7 episodes of the series.

I don't think I can stand not knowing what will happen for the next 13 episodes.

Holidays, please come faster. I need to get hold of the remaining episodes.

Of amplitud, resonance and lambda.

Kini sendiri, di hari hari ku

"Sometimes we get sad about things and we don't like to tell other people that we are sad about them. We like to keep it a secret. Or sometimes, we are sad but we really don't know why we are sad, so we say we aren't sad but we really are." 

(Mark Haddon, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time)

.......................

My eye candy at the moment. The one with yellow tie.

His accent is sooooo sexy. 

Oh, did I tell you about his deep voice too? 

Oh yeah. And that too.

: 24th January 2015.

: 10.10 p.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: I am actually stressed out. Tomorrow is my first Physics class.

I just can't imagine how an English teacher will be able to teach Physics.

Episode 1: Tapeworm.

Of all days, today I have a sudden urge to watch this.

House MD: Episode 1 (Pilot)

Tapeworm. What and why?

Eating undercooked meat from infected animals is the main cause of tapeworm infection in people. Although tapeworms in humans usually cause few symptoms and are easily treated, they can sometimes cause serious, life-threatening problems. That's why it's important to recognize the symptoms and know how to protect yourself and your family.

Tapeworm Causes

Six types of tapeworms are known to infect people. They are usually identified by the animals they come from -- for example Taenia saginata from beef, Taenia solium from pork, and Diphyllobothrium latum from fish.

Preventing Tapeworms in Humans

You can further reduce your risk of tapeworms by washing your hands before and after using the toilet and by following these food safety tips.

1. Avoid raw fish and meat.
2. Thoroughly cook meat to temperatures of at least 145 degrees Fahrenheit for whole cuts of meat and to at least 160 degrees F for ground meat. Then let it rest for at least 3 minutes before carving or eating.  Safe temperatures for poultry are different. 
3. Freeze meat to -4 degrees F for at least 24 hours to kill tapeworm eggs.
4. When traveling in undeveloped countries, cook fruits and vegetables with boiled or chemically-treated water before eating.
5. Wash hands with soap and hot water before preparing or eating foods.

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Watching House MD while having breakfast is not a good choice.

: 17th January 2015.

: 11.27 a.m.

: Jeli, Kelantan.

: Since young, I always admire how doctors brace themselves

through all the blood, diseases and (their) lack of sleep

to treat and cure people.