Oh son of Adam, you are nothing but a few numbered days.
When a day goes by, a part of you is gone. [Al-Basri]
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"I don't trust words anymore. I only trust actions.
People can pretend to do a lot without being serious about it."
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I have a lot to write actually. But I don't know where to begin. I love to talk, I seriously do, but sometimes, what I have in mind comes out different when I say it out loud. So, that is why I have to write so that I can reconstruct my thoughts in better words.
I have a lot of friends. Friends whom I care and who are always in my heart even though we don't contact on daily basis. I am a person who values friends; therefore to spend money and my precious time on them is not something that I find difficult to do. Even if they don't feel the same way about it, I still won't mind much going miles and miles just to meet them.
However, reaching the era where people are starting to build their own career and family, things are not the same like before. I can't simply spend my money just to book a flight and meet a friend of mine just because she asked me to do so. I can't simply drive for long hours just to accompany my dear friend who happens to be lonely and depressed. I have to look at my own savings and my own schedule. Not to mention, my own capabilities in driving for long hours. I have to look at all that. Because, as far as I remember, not many who are willing to do that for me. So, if you are among those who are willing to do that for me, I will be more than willing to go miles and miles just for you.
I have a few friends who sometimes complain how I never even once visited them though I did not hesitate to visit some others. It's not that I don't want to, but sometimes, I know that they have their own agenda with their family and beloved ones. So, how can I come to visit if you are already have plans, right? But don't worry, when I have the money and time, I will visit you without a second thought. But for now, I am sorry dear, to book a flight just to meet you is not something I can do right now, I am so sorry. But I love you all the same. C'mon lemme hug you virtually. So am I forgiven? He he he.
These days, this one friend of mine, a bubbly one she is, never fails to contact me on daily basis. She is such a precious one, yeah she is. She always reports to me what her daily activities are, what kind of frustrations she has throughout the day and even asks me the same question all over again without fail. You know what, she even made a Facebook account using a fake identity just to tease me. See, what kind of love she has for me? Ahhahhaha. Sometimes it makes me feel like I am her boyfriend instead of her friend. Thank God I am a girl, if not I might start having the wrong ideas. Ahhaha. Hey, not that kind of wrrrooooong ideas, I mean if I am a guy, I might think she likes me so much ahhahaha. I hope she won't be reading this, pleaseee if not I might get killed by her.
Another dear friend of mine, is counting days now. Every single day, she is counting and she is already at the end of her long waiting. I am sincerely happy for her though I didn't show it. I find her and her beloved such a precious couple. See, I am using the word 'precious' again ahhaha. I envy the deep discussions that they had with each other. Not every couple can discuss such matters comfortably and it makes me kinda wish that I can have such deep discussions with the one I love one day. Why? Because for me, to be able to communicate comfortably is what I really seek in a relationship. There are lots of people out there who are in a relationship but they can't say what they have in minds comfortably with each other. For me, I think that, the more things you keep from each other, the more you will grow apart from each other. Ironically, I like keep things to myself, so as my dear friends often remind me, I must try to be more open and expressive. I will try my best, okay? I will. So, if you are my other half, I sincerely hope that you will bear with me. Because, most of my dear friends often complain how I always make them feel unloved by me even though I told them so many times I love them unconditionally. Please love me even when I am unlovable. Heeee.
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: 20th February 2016.
: 8.52 p.m.
: Jeli, Kelantan.
: I don't know how to deal with that Facebook messages now.
How should I reply?
