Lingering sunsets, stay a little longer with the lonely sea
I don't know why, but lately, there's some kind of sadness lingering around me. Maybe it's because I'm going back to the U.K, leaving my beloved ones behind. Or maybe because I'm going to leave all those memories and days behind, thinking how things will never be like it was again. Or it's just a play of the hormone. I just don't know.
I just don't know why I felt sad these days, even by just looking at my cats sleeping (even though they almost kill me with their poops everywhere), or messing with my sisters' hair. Simple things make me feel a little bit melancholic, and to tell you the truth, it's kind of irritating. I kept reminding myself yesterday, how I shouldn't feel this way. I should be the usual optimistic me, making promises to myself that I would do my very best for the third year I'm in the U.K (which will be the last year I'm there), but no matter how I tried, I ended up fighting with the tears that are threatened to fall.
I asked my youngest sister that day, "Will you miss me if I go back to the U.K?". Thinking that the answer will definitely be the most unromantic answer ever (well, most of the time, we siblings never admit our true feelings to each other and teasing is one of our way of showing care and love), I almost shed tears when I heard her reply. She told me, in her soft voice while looking down at her feet, "Of course I will. Who else will help me combing my hair before I go to school if it's not you?". Ahha. Even for a cold person like me who won't waver at cheesy or touching sentences in most drama series, this sentence almost makes my lacrimal gland produces what normal people would call "tears." Oh gosh dear, where did you learn such sweet talk? *crying a bucket of tears*
My dear cat, Maow, who I always take a great liking for, is sick. Well, most of my cats are. My parents said that it must be the weather, and all we can do is just to give them medicine that we bought from the veterinary. Alhamdulillah, most of the cats are getting better but Maow isn't. She keeps coughing and sneezing and the mucus starts to affect her respiratory system, and eventually it also affects her appetite. She didn't eat a single fried fish that we gave her these few days. She just drinks the plain water and nothing else. Looking at this, when she wasn't at home yesterday, I couldn't help feeling a little worried over her. My brother told me that she was not young anymore (considering a cat's age), that's why her immune system is weak compared to other cats. When I was hanging the clothes this morning, she came back. Oh, how happy I was to see her since I pray to Allah to give me the chance to see her one more time before I fly back to the U.K tomorrow. Stroking her fur and looking into her eyes, tears started to form. Oh, I was so emotional, wasn't I? That's why I'm not being too caring and attached to all the cats out there because being too caring and attached might get me this emotional if something happens.
Living things might die one day. Thinking of this is what makes me even emotional. Oh Allah, please protect those whom I love no matter where they are. And please, please bless them oh Allah.
Seriously gonna miss watching my cats sleeping.
“Distance never separates two hearts that really care, for our memories span the miles and in seconds we are there. But whenever I start feeling sad because I miss you, I remind myself how lucky I am to have someone so special to miss.”
: 21st September 2011.
: 22 Syawal 1432H.
: 16.46 p.m.
: Malaysia.
: I just washed my shoes and haven't pack anything yet.
Oh, gotta start packing soon.
