You've got that James Dean's daydream look in your eyes
Some people are so broken,
they get mad at you for being so whole.
.................
We waste so many days waiting for weekend.
So many nights waiting for morning.
Our lust for future comfort
is the biggest thief of life.
[Joshua Glenn Clark]
................
Last few days were tiring for me. I was out of the school, going for courses and meetings from last Tuesday until this week's Tuesday. I was only in the school on Sunday and I felt so behind in so many things. There are files waiting for me to complete, there are papers waiting for me to mark, there are talks waiting for me to give, there is a room waiting for me to decorate and there are students waiting for me to teach (or so I choose to believe). For having out of the school for quite some time, my students seemed to be more 'energetic' upon my return. And most of them, for their 'eagerness' to learn and to have me back in the class, they ended up being such a brat.
After some thoughts, I feel that I am not a good teacher for my students. I am a person who can't do two things at the same time, and I have a very tough time in dividing myself into planning and teaching a lot of classes with different levels. This year I have one Form Three class in which they will be sitting for their PT3, two SPM classes; one class I have to teach them English and another one, I have to teach them Physics. Yeah, Physics. Haven't I told you I am teaching Physics this year? Yes, I am teaching Physics for Form 5 students this year and yes, I am an English major.
I know, all of us have our own problems and I should be grateful for being trusted to teach Physics. Not everyone is able to teach it, and so do I but hey, they trust me, so what can I do. I should help them so yeah, I should never complain, right?
But honestly, it is getting tougher day by day. With English to teach, and now Physics.
Anyway, please pray for me. Please pray that even if one day I stumble and fall down, I will be able to get up after that. Please. And thank you.
: 5th March 2015.
: 3.50 p.m.
: Jeli, Kelantan.
: Sometimes our heart needs more time
to accept what our mind already know.
