Sometimes I find myself quite dissatisfied with my own life. It's not that I am being ungrateful with how my life has been so far, it's just that sometimes when I looked back at how things happened and what have I done so far, I personally think that I could do even better than I already did. It's just me being discontented with the lack of effort that I myself had put, leading to how things had finally happened throughout my own life. Sometimes, I wished I could turn back time, but when I think about it again, my life wouldn't have been like it is now. I won't probably be the person I am now, and I won't probably be where I am now.
I've lost so many people in my life. Literally, and figuratively. Some are lost forever, while some are lost without any news. I had tried my best to reach them but unfortunately, distance seems to have separated us as time passes by. It's only the memories and the bond that I'm still holding on. And the never-ending prayers that I always recite every time I think of them. Oh God, wherever they are, and whatever they do, please take a good care of them.
I am indeed not that kind of person that people often see me as. I am not that tough, I am not that kind, I am not that straight forward person that I appear to be. Each remark and sarcasm (yeah, people sometimes say I am a sarcastic person) that I made is only as a shield, or a comparison to what I actually want to say. I know sometimes I tend to hurt people around me, but if you notice enough, I only say things straight-forwardly to those whom I care so much.
Marah tanda sayang. Tegur tanda prihatin.
Take a look at most mothers in the world, they scold their children for their own good. Practically and unfortunately, so do I. No matter whether you are my siblings, my relatives or my friends, I'll definitely have a word with you if you have done something wrong. I don't really care if you'll end up hating me, but I really want you to learn. Learn to change. Learn to take advice. I know I'm not that good, but at least you will learn and at the same time I can improve myself by advising you. Just tell me if I'm wrong. I'll be more than happy to learn and improve on myself.
"Seorang mukmin itu adalah cermin kepada saudaranya yang lain."
I am really sorry for every word and action that might have hurt you. It's not that I don't care, it's because I care too much that I ended up hurting you.
But please, no matter what I do, please don't simply jump into conclusion on your own. If you don't know me well, please, don't simply judge me. And I believe, it's not only me who don't really like being treated so. Every person on earth does not even like to be judged by those who don't really know them.
And I believe, so do you. Right?
: 26th July 2010. (Malaysia)
: 03.20 a.m. (Malaysia)
: I just don't favour those who say bad things about others but they themselves do the same thing.
It's so ironic. If I happen to be just the same, please slap me. I'm serious. Just slap me.
It's so ironic. If I happen to be just the same, please slap me. I'm serious. Just slap me.
